WARNING!
Distributor | Released | Length |
---|---|---|
Channel 1 Releasing | 2004 | 160 |
Thank you Chi Chi LaRue for putting Arpad Miklos in a cop uniform. Don't get me wrong, Arpad duded up in any threads will make my pulse race, and I don't have any particular bent for police drag. But if I'm going to spend time in the cooler, I can't think of anyone I'd rather see strutting around with a badge than Arpad Miklos. "Hole Patrol" is packed with big-dicked guys in (and out of) uniform. And while it isn't "NYPD Blue," this tongue-in-cheek story about punks breaking the law and the studs bringing them to justice turned me into a freak for the boys in blue.
Owen Hawk, Shane Rollins and Tommy Ritter are cruising around the country roads of some backwater town when trouble finds them. Fredrick Ford and Jason Ridge seem nice enough, but this is no routine traffic stop and these cops are crooked as hell. Sheriff Ford plants a gun in the trunk, and everyone gets a ride down to the station.
Splitting the boys up, Fredrick Ford takes Owen and Shane off for questioning, while Jason Ridge and Tommy Ritter get better acquainted in a dark room with only a single bulb hanging from the ceiling. Jason Ridge, sporting a hot little goatee, uses his billy club to quickly demonstrate who's boss. His prisoner doesn't say much, but then again, how much can you say when you're choking on one end of a black nightstick? But like any novice cocksucker, lean, tall Tommy soon gets the idea and is servicing Jason's equipment like a pro. Jason bends the young innocent over the edge of the interrogation table, licking Tommy's ass through the seat of his jeans, stopping every so often to firmly whack his butt. Tommy's switches are flipped and he's soon performing a sensual strip for his captor. The two tease each other as they undress until Jason finally whips out his prick. Tommy takes this as his cue to drop to his knees and start sucking, which he does respectfully. With only that single light bulb illuminating his body, Tommy then gets serviced by Jason. Maybe it's the lighting, but Tommy's cock looks deliciously large, the head of his cock a fat mushroom. He's also got a healthy pair of nuts that drop dangerously low to the table as Jason moves his mouth and hands up and down the length of the prick he's sucking. They swap some passionate rimjobs on the tabletop before they turn cop gear into sex toys. Tommy rings his dick with the cold silver handcuffs and jerks off watching Jason fuck himself with the black nightstick. Tommy ends up throwing the nightstick aside and giving him the real thing. Grabbing Jason's thighs, Tommy helps his cop buddy blow an amazing amount of spunk while fucking him, enough spunk to coat Jason's tan belly. Tommy then adds his load to the mix.
Warden Eddie Stone seems to think that the trio will be incarcerated for some time. So rather than put Shane Rollins in touch with his lawyer, he sends him off to the prison physician, one Dr. Schmidt, Nick Capra, for a thorough exam. The doctor takes full advantage of a prone Shane on the exam table. A quick manual examination becomes a full-on grope, one which Shane doesn't seem to mind. Shane literally licks his lips when Nick's prick is freed from his scrubs, and soon the two are comparing for size. All medical pretense is forgotten the minute Nick swallows Shane to the root, dribbling long strands of spit down the length of Shane's cock. Nick gives one hell of an enthusiastic blowjob, gripping Shane tight at the base while making a big, loud show of bobbing and licking. In response, Shane rolls half onto one hip exposing his luscious pink center. As soon as Nick spies it, he dives in to give it a thorough oral exam, Shane jacking his cock the entire time. Nick rides Shane's face, ordering him to "lick that hairy manhole, you nasty fuck." Shane's tongue is too busy darting across Nick's hole to reply. At one point, Nick violently seesaws over Shane's goateed chin and mouth, rubbing the nerve endings in his hole raw in an effort to get off. Nick slowly rolls on a condom while Shane balances by the side of the bed, standing on one leg. The expression on his face is pure ecstasy the moment Nick eases inside his ass. Shane's thick dong swings heavily as he stands in that same precarious position. The two move to the gurney, Nick taking Shane on his back, never letting up on the stream of dirty-talk. Nick vociferously unloads on Shane's shiny bald skull, and then laps up his own load. Shane throws his hips over his head and cums in his own mouth. The cum is thick and what doesn't land inside his mouth, coats his goatee.
Back in lockdown, Owen Hawk is getting the inside scoop from fellow detainee Johnny Hazzard. Hazzard reveals that the best way to manipulate their captors is with sex. He demonstrates by calling over Arpad Miklos and offering a blowjob, which Arpad accepts. Johnny worships Arpad's hips and crotch through those perfect form-fitting cop pants. Arpad responds by kissing and groping Johnny inside his cell while Owen watches from his own. Once Arpad's Hungarian member is freed, Johnny gives it full attention. Arpad opens the shirt of his uniform, showing off his perfect hairy chest and flat stomach. His dark hairy thighs look even bigger with his uniform pants halfway off, none of which goes unnoticed by Owen who is now openly jerking off next door. Johnny gets on top of Arpad, the two devouring each other in a kiss. Arpad's hands roam his ward's body and hungrily find Johnny's hairy ass. Arpad signals for Johnny to bring his butt up close, and he pries Johnny's ass apart and goes to town. Then he blows his buddy, taking Johnny's dick completely to the base. All of this must be agony for Owen Hawk who can only poke his own meat through the bars and watch what's happening a mere five feet away. Owen looks especially tortured when Arpad starts fucking Johnny on his side, bumping his hot bush against Johnny's lower back with every thrust. We see wonderful close-ups of their anal action before the camera pans up to capture Arpad and Johnny kissing like hungry lovers. Johnny repeats Shane's stunt from the previous scene and unloads directly into his mouth. Arpad aims for Johnny's exposed asshole and then eats every bit of his own white goo from Johnny's backside. Poor Owen dumps his spunk on the cold cell floor, unable to join the two.
We get our first glimpses of Fredrick Ford's monstrosity in a sexy little three-way with Arpad and Jason. Seems like our "hole patrolmen" don't have enough ass to fuck so they turn to each other when they're feeling bored, horny or both. Fredrick gets the ball rolling, whining about the stiff crowbar making a sizeable lump in his uniform pants. Jason and Arpad quickly get onboard, whipping out their own pricks for a mutual stroke-off. Arpad no doubt takes the stud prize. When this sex god stands up, unbuttons his shirt and scoots his pants down just below his ass, all bets are off. The other two men instantly become slaves to his every move. Arpad cruises between the two men leading with his cock. He tempts each in turn, putting his manhood mere millimeters from their slightly open lips, daring them to lick it. Jason takes the bait, completely stripping down before he takes the first sample of a very smug Arpad. The three gather into a tight triangle and smack their dicks around, punctuating their cockplay with deep kisses. Fredrick makes a complete pig of himself sucking both his work mates. He then finds himself on the floor along with Arpad. Both men are rolled up onto their shoulder blades and turned to each other, ass to ass. Jason darts from sweaty butt to sweaty butt, sucking and rimming the two furry holes as they're positioned just inches apart. Since Fredrick's ass is nice and wet, Jason decides to stop eating it and start fucking it. He bangs horny Fredrick doggy while a muscular and hirsute Arpad enjoys the view. The party concludes with all three men standing above the camera lens getting off in a circle-jerk.
Back in the warden's office, our three detainees -- Owen, Shane and Tommy -- get busy pleasuring this most unlikely of authority figures. They surround Eddie, making for a very happy warden. He gives each young pup an oral test drive while the ever-horny Fredrick Ford jacks off across the room. He's content to dribble spit down over his cock and watch. Eddie orders the sheriff to "take care of" Tommy and Owen while he busies himself with Shane. Owen and Tommy easily bring a very ripped Fredrick completely into the sex mix. Meanwhile, Shane Rollins demonstrates that he's one nasty fuck, climbing up on the desktop and offering up his asshole to the first taker. Shane occupies himself with Fredrick's cock, keeping his mouth stuffed while Eddie dives face-first into his beautiful ass. The black nightstick comes off the Sheriff's belt, making a second appearance. The nightstick becomes a group sextoy, literally passed around the room and inserted wherever feels good. The scene takes an interesting turn when Owen grabs the nightstick and clubs sheriff Ford, knocking him out cold. Shane pins the unsuspecting warden directly between his bad-ass thighs while the Tommy brings Johnny Hazzard from his cell and into the office. The four delinquents change the entire flavor of the session, taking full advantage of the warden's vulnerability. But like they say, you can't rape the willing: Eddie looks pleased as punch as he's forced to suck the four guys off while he's kept on his knees. Owen, Tommy, Shane and Johnny are almost comically abusive, selfishly grabbing Eddie's hair and making a big show of dominating the warden with their cocks. Chi Chi films most of this from below making the action appear fast and furious. The next round of torture finds warden Stone face down in Owen's ass while Johnny pounds his butt from behind. The gangbang gets hotter when Johnny decides he'd rather get rimmed while Shane assaults the warden's ass. During the remainder of the little orgy, everyone takes a ride on Eddie's face while a buddy delivers a fierce fucking. The scene concludes with all four dumping cum on Eddie from above leaving him to pound out his own load.
Chi Chi leans heavily on every cop cliché in the book and Doug Jeffries' screenplay takes very predictable turns. But let all that go. The minute Arpad pops the first button of his uniform pants, plot becomes immaterial ...
DVD features: Chapters; cum-shots chapter; behind-the-scenes footage; safer-sex public service announcement; trailers ("Bolt", "A Night at Bruno's," "What Men Do" and "Steele Ranger"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD Review by Rick Forrent
A passel of ornery, redneck law enforcement officers and a trio of kinda-sorta-innocent college kids are thrown together in a backwoods jail in Chi Chi LaRue's latest sizzler, Hole Patrol, for Channel 1 Releasing and Rascal Video. The well-crafted script by Doug Jeffries, the striking videography by Hue Wilde and Adam Killian, the full-throttle performances of the nine-man cast and the ever-inventive direction of LaRue make Hole Patrol a humdinger that may well be one of the best films of the year.
And that's not all.
In Hole Patrol, LaRue also introduces yet another star-in-the-making, a notable new specimen named Tommy Ritter. One of this director's many gifts is his ability to discover new talent -- the list is endless, from Joey Stefano to Johnny Hazzard -- and Ritter ranks right up there with the best of them. He wears a mantel of machismo as if it were a second skin, and he is blessed with a naturally defined physique, a protean countenance, especially hypnotic eyes, a lean torso, a bodacious butt (that -- alas! -- is not utilized) an impressive cudgel of a cock (that is!), and instinctual carnal skills that suggest he was born to drive men wild. Now and then, he seems a bit dizzied by the whirlwind of activity in which he finds himself, but that can be dismissed as debut jitters -- he is a real find.
Hole Patrol opens as a pair of good-ol'-boy state troopers (Jason Ridge, with a new goatee that ages him by 10 years, and lean, feral Fredrick Ford) pull over a car of college kids (hotheaded Shawn Rollins, voice-of-reason Owen Hawk and Ritter), promptly plant a gun in the trunk of their car, handcuff them and hustle them off to the local jail.
There, Ridge takes Ritter into the eerie limbo of an interrogation room lit only by a single dangling light. Thus begins the hottest scene of the film. Although it is nearly 10 minutes before a hard cock comes into view, the tense cat-and-mouse foreplay between the two is amongst the hottest footage LaRue has ever put to film. In nerve-stretched silence, Ridge eases his billy club into Ritter's mouth, slides it between the kid's buttocks, rubs his own crotch with it -- and as Ritter's terror turns to lust, both soon sport raging bulges, Ridge's in his uniform pants, Ritter in his tight white briefs. Then the cocks spring out, and Ritter drops to his knees to service the officer, swallowing Ridge all the way down to the pubes almost from the first gulp. Then, using one of the handcuffs as a cockring, they proceed to trade spit-soaked blow jobs that burn up the screen.
The anal action begins as Ridge lays back on the rough wooden table and throws his legs in the air to be rimmed. Ritter (who reminds us a bit of Logan Reed) proves to be as inspired an ass-eater as he is a cocksucker, licking and tongue-fucking with aplomb. It's not long before Ridge is fucking himself with the billy club and, in time, turning that task over to his prey. Then they fuck. Their connection is positively ferocious, their eye contact electrifying, their sphincter-splitting give-and-take explosive. Ultimately, Ritter pistons a streaming money shot out of Ridge, then sprinkles his torso with a splatter shot of spurting spunk. The sequence runs 33 minutes, and one wishes it were longer.
The four scenes that follow are all first-rate, but only the final one comes close to the opener in terms of breathtaking sexual intensity. The Ridge-Ritter coupling is a hard act to follow, but the second scene suffers only slightly by comparison. In it, Rollins is taken to the staff doctor (slick, sultry Nick Capra, looking hotter than ever in green scrubs and a latex glove on one hand). Sprawled on an examining table, Rollins closes his eyes as Capra's exam quickly turns sexual. Before the scene ends, they trade hand jobs and blow jobs, and, of course, fuck. Among the highlights: Capra's easy slide from armpit slathering to kissing Rollins, Rollins's upward thrusts into the depths of Capra's throat, Capra's face-sitting on Rollins, a standing doggie fuck (with Rollins poised on one leg like a whooping crane), Capra's money shot all over Rollins's skinhead, and finally, Rollins's upside-down money shot as he spills streams of spooge into his own mouth.
In the third scene, Hawk gets acquainted with a prisoner in the next cell (the extravagantly tattooed Johnny Hazzard), who advises him to use sex as his survival tool. "Watch and learn," he says as he comes on to one of the guards (hairy Arpad Miklos). Their mutual blow jobs are equally thoroughgoing, but the ass-action is what makes the scene. Miklos is a world-class top and Hazzard a butch bottom who seemingly can take anything that finds its way into his ass. Their multiposition anal action percolates nicely, and their money shots -- both detonate long, creamy streamers into the air -- are among the best of the film. As satisfying as the action seems to be for the guard, however, he refuses the prisoner any special favors -- and afterwards, Hazzard tells Hawk (who has brought himself off watching the proceedings) that he has an escape plan.
Meanwhile, in the day room, the three uniformed troopers (Ridge, Ford and Miklos) soon shift from playing cards to playing with each other. Again, director LaRue brilliantly orchestrates the growing sexual tension among them as each begins to grope himself and eye the others' reactions. Miklos is the first to go down, and Ridge the next, indulging in a nice bit foreskin play as he does so. Finally, Ford, too, struts his stuff as a swinger of considerable skill. As well, there is a lot of interpersonal stroking and dick dueling, and an inventive spate of rimming in which Ridge works his tongue back and forth across the other two's upended butts. Predominantly an oral scene, the sequence does end, however, with a quick flurry of Ridge topping Ford before all stand side-by-side to bring themselves off in a single piece of film. Very impressive.
In the final scene, the college boys (and the viewers) finally meet the warden, played with cool elan by Rascal exclusive Eddie Stone. In his office, decorated with a Confederate flag in one corner, they are ordered by Ford to "help the warden out." And they do. The subsequent oral action simmers along with Stone the eye of the storm, demonstrating his deep-throat skills on everyone present but paying special attention to Rollins. (At one point, Stone damned near sucks Rollins's sphincter inside out.) Midway through the scene, however, on a prearranged cue, the prisoners turn on the authority figures, knock out Ford, free Hazzard (who joins them) and force Stone into the role of sex slave. The rest of the action is devoted to an ever-evolving series of sandwiches, always with Stone in the middle beings fucked by one while eating the ass of another until at last all have had a turn in each position. The scene ends with everyone spilling his load all over Stone before they escape.
But that's not quite all, folks. There is a nifty twist ending to conclude the film.
Hole Patrol is among the best work of all those present -- director, writer, videographers, and performers -- and even more importantly introduces a major new star, Tommy Ritter. This is a nearly three-hour gem you won't want to miss.
- Jerry Douglas