I'm still searching for a publisher for the gay porn textbook I'm temporarily calling "Big Dick's Almanac." Actually, I'm not sure if it's ready for such a big move yet, as I'd rather share these lessons with you all directly, but I do know that there will have to be an entire chapter on "the plumber." I mean, is there a gay porn fantasy that goes back further? Maybe the cop, maybe the best friend, maybe the teacher, maybe Liza Minnelli. But, the plumber fantasy has been around longer than Drano and Falcon has been tending to it seemingly as long. Striking gold for the third time with "Basic Plumbing," director Chad Donovan not only has the redoubtable Chase Hunter back for another go with his tool belt, but a sterling crop of the hottest guys possible to play along to the most dependable of fantasies.
Roman Heart isn't stupid. He's obviously read my notes in "Big Dick's Almanac." Back in the old days of plumbing fantasy, one actually had to have a plumbing emergency to get the guy to show up (you also had to have a land line to call him, which tells you how far we're going back). But, Roman doesn't wait around for a toilet to clog. He does it himself by flushing a boxful of condoms down the crapper. He has the plumber's number in his cell (see, I told you!) and calls in the clog. Delicious Roman, with those dark good looks and perfect V-shaped torso, is obviously thrilled when goateed black-haired Ari Bond shows up to plumb. Roman has casually left a dirty magazine in the bathroom and Ari takes the bait, pulling off his shirt to reveal a bit of chest hair and pulling out his dick to reveal many fat inches. With the camera closer to him than spying Roman, Ari gingerly manages his own cock, slowly and sensually. In no time, he's splashed a load all over the pussy in the pic.
Ari's time in Roman's bathroom may have looked good, but Roman is not happy. He hasn't gotten "the full service" that Basic Plumbing always delivers. He lobs his complaints at poor nerdy Trevor Knight, who promises to discuss it with the owner as Roman demands a replacement plumber. The big cheese at Basic Plumbing is, of course, the ageless Chase Hunter (I mean that, his Dorian Gray picture must look like a twice-dead skeleton for Chase to look as young as he does), who tells his staff that they must ramp up the customer service.
Two of his team members, mouthwatering strapping Derek Brodie and lean tattooed Cort Donovan, are called to Trent Atkins' place to fix a sink. When Cort finishes his part early, Trent notes that "I heard the old Basic Plumbing was back" and the two grab for each other. Trent, beefier than ever but looking so spry and adorable, helps Cort out of his clothing as they make out. Service-minded, Cort goes down on Trent, deep-throating him effortlessly. Cort's full lips really do a number on Trent's dick and hairless balls. Ferocious Trent then goes down on Cort's enormous long cock, starting with some head work and then blasting all the down for a deep-throat. There are few spunkier than Trent and he comes alive delivering a blowjob. With Trent spinning his whole head around Cort's cock, its owner looks ready to shoot any moment. Trent's super-muscular ass is sprawled out so Cort can get between the cheeks with his tongue. Cort likes the tongue-fuck style, and Trent's gaping whole doesn't seem to mind. When Derek arrives, Cort doesn't even look up from Trent's ass. Derek gets naked and takes Trent's place, giving Cort a hairy hole to eat now. Pillow-lipped Derek (with what looks to be the softest hair in porn) and Trent both benefit from Cort's insatiable ass-munching and he knows how to keep them both happy. Cort relaxes, taking a blowjob from Trent, while Derek gets to fuck the customer. Trent parks his strong legs on the floor and Derek works hard slithering in and out of his ass, which is more than welcome to his big dick. Actually, it's such a comfortable fit that Derek likes to stay deep inside much of the time, jabbing with powerful thrusts as Trent tries to keep Cort's cock in his mouth. Derek lands his cum-shot right on Trent's asscheeks and departs, leaving Cort alone with Trent again. No problem there, because Cort fucks Trent with determination, trying to suck him at the same time. Cort is fast with his fucking, pulling out way far and then slamming back in, keeping Trent fully hard. Trent has a massive spray being fucked and then Cort follows quickly with his own load. There's no doubt Trent is one happy customer after that workout.
Things are now humming at Basic Plumbing, so Chase decides to bring on more guys. He gets to interview Erik Rhodes, who redefines big. How the guy fits through a doorway, I'm still not sure. Erik knows the interview doesn't require any tools but the ones he was born with, so he's soon sucking Chase's dick with gusto. Chase is rock-solid. His body has only gotten tighter and more perfect over time, his mustache the only reminder at how long he's been doing this (and that's a compliment). Erik chugs away with a passionate blowjob, not even stopping to breathe as he works at the veiny dick. Chase commands Erik to choke on his dick and Erik happily obliges. Gargantuan Erik spreads his legs to Chase can get to his ass with his mouth. The tight hole adapts well to a nasty fingering as Chase also pulls on Erik's uncut cock. Chase teases Erik by poking his cock at the hole, but always returns to rimming and fingering to prolong the excitement. Erik lucks out by having Chase suck him, and Chase does a wonderful job on Erik's extra-large dick. His is a straightforward sucking style, with some hand help, and Erik is a-cooin' the whole time. By this point, Erik has waited long enough for the fuck, so Chase has to provide it. Into Erik Chase slides, all the way to his cockring. Strongman Chase has ripped abs that look sensational as they help aim his dick far deep into Erik's ass. Living up to his history, Chase is a hearty top, plowing away at Erik so hard that it rolls their little set piece further and further way from the camera! The best position finds Chase crouched over Erik and just hounding his ass with tireless thrusts. Chase then fucks Erik with a giant dildo until it's time to cum. Erik shoots with Chase's fingers in his ass and then Chase unloads.
When platinum blond Christian Owen calls in with a shower problem, four-eyed receptionist Trevor Knight has no one to send. So, he does a quick change from geeky Clark Kent to the Superman I personally adore so much and heads over to Christian's. Trevor is über-masculine in his tank top, with his unique wrist tattoos and takes only about 13 seconds to work on the plumbing issue. His time is better spent with twinky Christian. They make out passionately as Christian hardens Trevor. He then has to suck Trevor's giant snake cock. It's way too big for little Christian, but the sucker nonetheless plays with his happily. Slobbering lots, Christian keeps his head parked and sucking until Trevor takes over. Trevor is the fire of the scene, leaning Christian against the wall and deep-throating him with total ease. Powerhouse Trevor absolutely devours Christian, all signs of his shy personality thankfully gone. Christian's pure white untanned ass is Trevor's next target and he eats ass with aplomb. Moaning hotly as he goes, he dives between the cheeks and wets the hole feverishly. The camera is underneath the action as Trevor very slowly parks his dick in Christian's ass. One of the biggest cocks in the movie, this isn't one to take lightly, but Trevor knows how far he can push his little bottom ... to the limits! Immediately, he's bounding in and out of Christian, who sports a pained look but doesn't complain. Trevor pushes his entire monster into Christian and does it with style and a big proud smile. Trevor gets in very deep and his energy never abates. Even the usually-tricky sideways fuck is no problem for these guys. By now, Christian is used to Trevor's aggressive style and allows Trevor the fullest access. Christian cums with Trevor holding onto his balls and then Trevor plops a big one on Christian's chest. Remind me that another chapter in the almanac has to be devoted to the coming out of nerds! Trevor is so far the liveliest employee on the Basic Plumbing payroll.
While Trevor is off sating Christian, Roman Heart calls back, still scowling and yelling at his lack of service. He leaves a very angry message (I've done that, and I never get anything but the beep at the end of my message) and this squeaky wheel gets Chase Hunter himself appearing in his bathroom. "I'd say that's fixed ... now, you want your service?" Chase asks Roman, who looks ready to fly out of his clothing into Chase's arms. They then grab onto each other and Roman plants deep kisses on Chase's mouth that will be felt for days. Roman goes down on Chase, gobbling the entire length of the cock with his usual spitfire devotion. When Roman Heart is naked and working sexually, there are few who can beat him. Chase's grin at watching Roman deep-throat him seems born out of shock that it's coming so easy to the hunky kid. Hell, Roman doesn't even needs his hands, keeping one parked on his cock and the other idle as he sucks. Broad-chested Roman has Chase suck his imposing curved cock. Chase is hungry for it, but reserves his real oomph for eating Roman's absolutely perfect ass. When Roman pops that thing out toward a partner, nothing else in the room exists, and Chase works it from the top of the hole all the way down the cock. It's cute to see Roman flinch each time Chase's thick mustache tickles his hole. On the rim of the bathtub, Roman gets fucked by Chase, with Roman starting by working backwards on Chase. He's not content to let the legend do all the work and they end up equal partners in this blazing butt-fuck. Determined Chase rips into Roman even harder than he did Erik earlier, and Roman helps out by pulling his asscheeks apart and pushing backwards. This allows Chase to hit him so hard! Roman is then on his back for Chase, who slips downward into Roman with equal effort, Roman staring up at his top with big sexy begging eyes. Grunting with devotion, Chase is unstoppable as he slams at the braying bottom. Chase has a winning spray all over Roman's torso and then Roman has a lively cum-shot that further coats him in cum.
Chase stands up against his truck and notes, "that's what I call good service!" Indeed it is, Chase. Through three films, Chase Hunter has been the ideal vision of the service-oriented plumber and he shows no signs of tiring. In both scenes here, he's alive with power. But, when you have to work with guys like Erik Rhodes and Roman Heart, you can't rest on your laurels. You have to create new ones and Chase Hunter never fails.
As for the plumber fantasy, it's still very much alive. It reminds me I haven't had the pipes looked at in some time and I'm wondering what the phone book has to offer. I can only imagine what I would do if a dreamboat like Trevor or Chase or Derek showed up at my door and that's proof that even the hoariest of fantasies never die.
DVD features: Chapters; trailers ("Longboard," "The Farmer's Son," "Riding Hard," "Dripping Wet," "From Top To Bottom" and "The Velvet Mafia"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD Review by Brent Blue
