A portable phone rings in a secluded house. A young man, alone, answers it. Behind him, popcorn pops on the stove.
"Hello?" the young man says.
"Do you like porno movies?" says the mechanical voice on the other end.
Thus opens director David Thompson's spoof of the (now) horror classic Scream, entitled Moan. It's a funny, campy spoof that is loaded with hot sex, over-the-top performances and a spattering of technical snafus.
The video opens with Tommy Lord as the young man in the secluded house. The phone rings, and our tale begins. Lord and the voice banter back and forth playfully for a while, Lord thinking the caller is just obsessed with sex. Things start to turn ugly, however, when it becomes apparent that the caller is looking to do more than talk the caller wants to fuck! (Okay, so I was confused at first, thinking "Why would this scare me? It would actually spice up my Saturday nights." But eventually people die.) Anyway, Lord heads upstairs to lock everything up, but he's caught on the landing by a masked man with a huge, erect cock who jumps out at him and rapes him. The masked man makes Lord choke on his cock then downs his victim's dong before he bends Lord over the railing and impales him. Both guys blow their wad, and Lord falls to the landing, exhausted.
We cut to our hero, Blake Harper (yum), playing cards with buddies Jason Branch (double yum), Chad Donovan (yum yum), Doug Jeffries (daddy yum) and Harper's boyfriend Ethan Marc (thiefin' yum.) Conversation turns to Lord's rape, and Harper starts to get nervous. After all, his boyfriend was murdered years before in very much the same way. Jeffries, who is the practical joker, heads off to do some laundry while the others chat about a bash that wacky Donovan is throwing.
Into this fray comes deputy Thom Southern, asking questions of the men as to their whereabouts the previous night. Turns out everyone is a suspect. Southern heads off to question Jeffries in the laundry room. But Jeffries seduces the dopey deputy, and soon they're drying clothes with the heat from their action. At one point, Jeffries takes Southern's billy club and slides it deep into the officer's orifice before Jeffries fucks him.
Harper, who thinks that porn is ludicrous, receives threatening phone calls from the rapist. Harper believes that it's Jeffries playing a trick only when the conversation turns evil does Harper change his tune. Eventually, boyfriend Marc shows up and drops a cell phone, and Harper thinks that he's the rapist and freaks out. Deputy Southern shows up and arrests Marc. Later that night, Harper jacks off waiting for best friend Branch to show up and gets a terrifying phone call instead.
Marc is released because he couldn't have made a phone call from jail and heads over to the party that Donovan is throwing where Harper, Branch, Donovan and Jeffries are already watching a bunch of David Thompson movies although they never do the "rules of a porno film." That could have been quite funny.
Branch heads off to get some beer and runs into another masked figure in the garage. With the aid of some anal beads, Branch loosens up the masked guy and then slams his dick in for a solid pounding in the back of a truck. He fucks the masked guy in several positions before exhausting himself to the point of unconsciousness. Later, his body is found floating face down in the hot tub.
Jeffries gets locked in the garage looking for Branch, and Harper soon realizes than not only was he right about Marc being the killer/rapist, he had help from wacky Donovan. (Donovan is the one who fucks Lord in the beginning, and Marc is the one who received the pounding from Branch.) After some really odd conversation, Marc and Donovan seduce Harper on the living room sofa. I somehow don't think that if I met the guys who killed my boyfriend a year earlier, that I would hop into the sack with them. But, this is porn, and hop into the sack with them Harper does. It's a good threesome. Both Harper and Marc get a thorough slamming from huge-dicked Donovan and at one point there is a brief daisy chain as Donovan, fucks Harper who is fucking Marc. They all cum, and just when the baddies start to converge upon hero Harper, in jumps deputy Southern to save the day.
The video is good, campy, with odd choices made in a lot of areas, but that just adds to its quirkiness. The sex is a lot of fun, good pairings with terrific sexual performers. Thompson does a fine job as a director and has no problem showing his sense of humor, especially while poking severe fun at his previous videos. Donovan is a standout in the performance arena, his wacky, porn-obsessed psycho is deliciously over-the-top, and his prowess as a cocksman is admirable. He truly sinks his fangs into the meaty role and doesn't let up. He is a good candidate for some Grabby noms.
However, with the good comes the bad the editing is terrible. At times, Thompson's voice is heard directing, cameras flash and whirr. The audio in many areas, especially in the scene at the beginning with the popcorn popping and dialogue going on underneath, is bad. There are so many technical snafus that could have easily been cleaned up, yet weren't, it makes me wonder who fell asleep at the wheel.
But the video is fun, especially for fans of Scream. Porn spoofs are a dime a dozen in the porn world, but this one is clever enough to make it to the top.
- Jeremy Spencer
