Director John Travis has rolled out the construction crew in "Stiff as a Board," a volatile mixture of post-college to over-30 hunks who have nothing better to do than look for hot cock wherever they happen to be.
The crux of the story is that Tony Mecelli, a perfectly muscular young stud, has divorced his wife and moved in with her brother, the incredibly ripped and broad-shouldered Trey Rexx, whose flowing blond mane makes him look like the king of the lions in a den of horny kittens. They share a bed (but not each other) prior to the opening of the flick and work on the same construction site. And, after a few lines of exposition, they go to work.
Trey meets up with horny Latino Nick Thomas. He inquires into the possibility of the kind of sex Trey has with his ex-brother-in-law. Trey blows him off.
We now see Tony and the baby-faced hunkster Tag Adams getting ready to relive the previous night's tryst. Compact, taut and lined with chest and ab hair that make him one of the most exciting young cats in porn, Tag finds what he wants between Tony's legs: one of the longest and fattest pieces of meat on the worksite. Tag proceeds to gobble voraciously, and blessed with an obviously elongated esophagus, he takes Tony down to the pubes before offering a shot at his own pud, which Tony treats tenderly, then enthusiastically, with his own experienced throat. Nevertheless, it's Tag's incredibly tight and perfect ass that Tony is after. He impales it, doggy and missionary, on a worktable, encouraged every thrust of the way by Tag's delirious, red-faced exhortations, the shots from above revealing the perfection of Tony's body, especially his abs. Tony finishes Tag off with a front-and-back sit-fuck, thrusting his monster tool powerfully until Tag pops a monster load. Tag then eats and licks Tony's balls until the hunk blows his own patch of cum.
Lanky and pink-cheeked Eric Hunter tells his cock-hungry supervisor, Doug Jeffries, that he's just seen Tony and Tag doing things he's never seen. Dialogue: "You mean fucking around, right, kid?" Doug asks. "Ever fuck around?" "No." "Want to?" "Yeah." What follows is a classic rendition of daddy-son sexual tutoring. Doug quickly goes to work on the cock, and even slips it in and out of Eric's briefs, sucking it all the time. The kid is hung, hairy and hot, and he plays it beautifully in a quasi-naïve way, following Doug's encouragement, proceeding from tender lip-nips to deep-tongued kisses, the camera focusing on the mutual lust on their faces (this was obviously not a scene where a fluffer was needed). With a couple of neatly positioned tatts, Eric, who looks like many of those amateur army grunts who pretend to be sucking for the first time, gives Doug an especially thorough and loving hummer, then his mentor goes back down to his knees to get some more of that virgin-boy cock. "You suck dick better than my bitch," the kid moans. Doug then positions the recruit, one leg on a ladder step, the other on a 2x4 joist, and lubes his hairy hole with his tongue, then tells him to ride his fingers before having him climb the ladder for a particularly juicy and bouncy series of doggy-thrusts, all shot to emphasize the beauty of his hairy ass and hole, and the wonder of ecstasy on Eric's face. Doug blows a super load over Eric's butt, and then kneels to take Eric's spectacular splash of sperm all over his face. They end with a sloppy, cum-covered kiss.
After gossip slut Nick tells Trey about the Tony & Tag Show, which elicits feigned outrage, Trey heads home and Nick heads to the local bar where some truly hilarious banter between Tony, Tag, Jeff and Eric precedes their departure, leaving Riley Porter, Roland Dane, Owen Hawk and Nick behind. This is obviously a bar where the patrons make their own entertainment happen, and it begins with the blond and goateed Riley moving in on Nick, as horse-dicked Owen, who is a cross between Tag and Eric, pulls in Hungarian hunk Roland. The kissing and groping is hot and heavy here, especially between Roland and Owen, who soon find themselves the objects of attention of the other two. Nick makes a meal of their cocks as Riley dives face first into Roland's ass. More choreography follows with Owen eating Riley's hot cock, while being serviced from below by Roland and Nick. Riley bends over and takes Nick's cock down his throat as Owen plows him from behind. Roland moves in, shoves his fat tool up Owen's butt, and then moves over to plug Riley, who is bent over a table kissing Nick, who is being porked by Owen. The two tops high-five each other and switch bottoms, then the tangle of bodies proceeds to the pool table where they fuck, kiss and rim some more before exploding in serious steamy squirts.
Back at Trey's apartment, the blond lion is on the couch as the Italian stallion comes in, apologizes for his behavior on the site, and says: "I married the wrong member of the family." A kiss segues to the bed, and the magnificent specimens put on as good a show of cock worship as you can find. Trey is especially impressive in his hunger, he literally takes Tony's huge tool down to the balls, more than a dozen times, and Tony has no one to apologize to for his fellatorial technique -- he's quite good, too. This is a brilliantly framed scene, and the sight of Tony plowing Trey's hot ass -- doggy, missionary and sidesaddle -- is sensational. Trey's reddened cock stays hard throughout, and he squirts his load while Tony is still in him. Tony then pulls out, spewing his load all over Trey's ass. DVD features: Dolby sound; chapter selections; galleries; cast bios (stats and videographies); behind-the-scenes footage (bloopers and outtakes); trailers; and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD Review by Bo Champion
Another stellar production from the names who've never failed us (Masters and Travis for those of you still using junior driver's licenses). This movie, of course, is set on a construction site. Tony Mecelli, a Studio 2000 exclusive, rightly emerges as the star. With the muscled body of a Roman statue, an all-American smile and a cock that needs its own zip code, Mecelli is everything one could want in a porn star.
There is a plot here, something about the blond guy with the mullet (Trey Rexx) having a crush on his brother-in-law Mecelli -- no matter though. After some unnecessary and horrifically acted expository scenes and dialogue, the first sex scene commences amidst the construction site. Mecelli knows what his co-worker (Tag Adams) really wants for lunch and feeds it to him. Lunch has to be at least 10 inches long, and proving how hungry he really is, Adams does a great job at taking it all. Proving he is not as trade as he could be (thank God!), Mecelli eventually plays with his buddy's hairy nipples and feasts at the buffet of Adams' cock. All of this is, of course, taking place on scaffolding (who knew?). As it is bound to, the fucking commences with Mecelli topping lithe Adams in a variety of positions before spewing a load of creamy goodness on his eager coworker's countenance. Apparently at this construction site more than just the whistle blows.
The second scene is also scalding. In another part of the construction site, probably on a different floor, Doug Jeffries and Eric Hunter get down. It begins with Hunter shyly telling Jeffries what he just spied going on with Mecelli and Adams. Hunter is a youthful cutie, with rosy cheeks and a slender body that contrasts well with Jeffries' daddy goodness. Their scene, unlike the first, begins with a nice amount of foreplay -- kissing, licking, caressing and general body worship heighten the encounter of these two builders. In opposition to baby face, Hunter has a bit of fuzz on his chest and sports a downright hairy hole! Jeffries, of course, makes good use of it, pounding him like a piston (on a ladder, in addition to other places). Once again, the scene ends with a glorious facial. This time, Jeffries is the beneficiary, receiving Hunter's youthful splooge all over masculine face.
The next scene (well, sex scene) takes place in a familiar-looking bar. It is here that fan fave Roland Dane shows up. He looks good, almost better every time he appears onscreen. What starts as small talk leads into a sex-filled four-way right in the restaurant. Dane, Nick Thomas, Riley Porter and Owen Hawk comprise the quartet. They begin as two separate couples but play Duck, Duck, Goose until each man has seemingly tasted each of the others. The men are very masculine and "real" in this grouping, yet they never seem to lose steam in the passion or enthusiasm departments. Two thumbs (or cocks) up for these blue-collar dudes!
The final scene is the predictable coupling of Rexx and Mecelli. If you are a fan of Rexx (he is blond and cut), you will love this pairing. If you think he looks like a 1980s hockey player and are not all that turned on by him, you may still love this pairing because Mecelli is just that hot! It starts out with a blip of romantic kissing on the couch before the buff boys are magically morphed onto the bed. Here Rexx does a great job of handling Mecelli's billy club of a cock. He worships that dong, as we all wish we could. Some 69 occurs before Rexx gets his hole opened up, first with Mecelli's finger and then with his veined monster. The fucking may be a bit perfunctory, but what the fuck! Mecelli knows what he is doing and is hot enough to watch even when he isn't naked (although naked and hard are preferable!). While this reviewer found this scene the weakest in the series, it is still stronger than most of the porn out there. Write down Mecelli's name (if you haven't already!), because you will probably be craving any appearances he makes.
Once you make it all the way through this flick, which may be about the third viewing, you will no doubt be either looking for more Mecelli porn or applying for a job on a construction site. Apparently no straight guys work at this construction site. Shhhh, don't let the equal opportunity employment people find out!
- Scott Templeton
