Cops, firefighters, military grunts, quarterbacks and construction workers -- a heady collection of conventional butch types, and the inspiration for hundreds of gay skin flicks. Put all those films together, and you've got an impressive iconography, one steeped in pure testosterone. So where does a gay erotic film about artists belong in that spectrum? "Mount Me" isn't fluffy or frilly, nor does it set out to establish the visual artist as the next hot fantasy figure. With its simple plot, "Mount Me" might just have you taking a second look at men at the neighborhood art gallery.

Mr. Jason Harley's ass is a remarkable work of art all on its own. Airbrushing the twin muscles with blue paint flecked with gold glitter merely point up the fact that Jason is blessed. Using skin as canvas, Aaron Ashford, an attractive lad with a sexy British accent, practices his craft, hoping to make a splash at the gallery opening. Surprisingly, he's not distracted by Jason's nudity. Working only a few inches from such flawless naked skin would make mischief for even the most pious and dedicated artist.

It's up to Jason to break the ice. All that air and paint blowing near his balls and itchy hole has put Jason in the mood, so when he teases with a fully-erect prick, creating art is temporarily put on hold. Jason stands on a platform two feet off the floor, and Aaron sucks and slurps his model, carefully avoiding grabbing Jason's ass while he gives head for fear of ruining his own work in progress. It would be comical if it wasn't so damned erotic; Aaron forces himself to keep hands at his side, trying to get as much of Jason in his mouth as possible without compulsively grabbing his ass. When the cheeks of Jason's ass are dry enough to touch, the first thing Aaron wants to do is rim. He parts Jason's muscular cheeks and goes crazy, flicking his tongue over the pink center. After a few minutes of reciprocal sucking and rimming, Jason makes a play for Aaron's ass, excitedly boning his buddy. Each new position gives the viewer another opportunity to appreciate the artwork plastered on Jason's backside. His pecs flex exquisitely when he blows his spunk on Aaron's chest.

Anybody who creates art will tell you that stillness and silence are crucial. Jason Kingsley slides into that groove, intently creating with propane torch in hand. The cumbersome welder's mask makes him seem even that much more imposing. However his lover Jed Wilcox has no problem roping all that creative energy and directing it exactly where he wants it. The way these two carry on, groping and kissing, makes you wonder what may be going on off-camera. There's a tangible intensity to the foreplay. These models are beautifully matched. They have almost a fraternal quality; both have solid physiques, achingly stiff pricks and an eagerness to please. When Jason sucks Jed, he's visibly torn between his need to get as much of Jed in his mouth as he can, and his need to jerk his own meat. I loved the angles the models were filmed in. They're often shot from below, making their thighs and chest look that much more massive. Even though they slow down the pace when they start fucking, the intensity remains constant. This was an excellent opportunity to study Jason's perfect obliques. They flex mightily as he rocks his dick in and out of Jed's ass. No matter which way the camera pans, the view is dick stirring. Jason may look even hotter getting fucked. He props his leg in such a way that his glutes snap to, making a nasty pillow for Jed to slam up against. Near the end of the scene, Jason puts himself back in the driver's seat. Their cum looks especially spicy, two loads coating the hinges of Jed's sweaty crotch.

Forget about noble artistic aspirations. For Joey Milano, the phrase "art photographer" is just something to print on a business card. A camera looped around his neck lends him all the cache he needs to get his models into wicked and vulnerable situations, all for the sake of "art." Jason Ridge and blond Matthew Green arrive at Joey's studio hoping to help a friend create some lasting images for the upcoming gallery opening. They're asked to strip in front of a blank tarp, and then express themselves freely with a variety of paint. The result is something considerably less than Jackson Pollock ( http://JacksonPollock.com ) on his worst day, but Joey does manage to snap some pictures of two horny men using paint as lube.

Matthew isn't shy about kneeling in front of Jason (a very popular porn name, at least in this film) and slicking up his cock with spit. The temperature climbs in the studio and Joey subtly unbuttons his chinos, preparing to make this a three-way. All pretense of photography abandoned, he picks up where Matthew leaves off, getting on his knees and working over Jason's dick. This frees up Matthew, who climbs atop a stepladder, a perfect position for Jason to orally service him. Both Matthew and Joey take turns bottoming for Jason. I found it considerably distracting that Matthew keeps his bright blue T-shirt on for the entire scene. He unwittingly ends up being the centerpiece of all the action. Unfortunately, he isn't enough to carry the scene and the scene suffers for it. Eventually he isolates himself in a corner and cranks his cock watching Joey and Jason get it on. Sparks fly between these two, Joey's upper lip curling when Jason picks up the pace. Voyeur Matthew shoots an incredible, messy load, expertly keeping all of it off the T-shirt. Jason and Joey follow suit.

Escorted through the gallery during its opening, Bobby Williams reminds us that you can take the boy out of the small town, but the real challenge is taking the small town out of the boy. To Bobby, modern art is puzzling and amusing. Quickly bored, he makes his own fun assaulting one of the live airbrushed models (Marco Pirelli). The airbrushing is obviously Aaron Ashford's work, but here Aaron's managed to completely paint Marco's exotic frame. Bobby makes the art interactive, dipping Marco's dick into his champagne flute, and then sucking it. Marco's aroused cock is all it takes for Bobby to completely throw caution to the wind. He strips down and makes a meal of it, chowing down while beating his own meat. Bobby and Marco camp out on the other artists' exhibits, making a flat space so they can 69. All that simultaneous sucking was just gettin' good when Bobby forces Marco into a crouched position, fucking the shit out of him. Marco eventually ends up on his side, batting his long eyelashes at bad-boy Bobby while he's getting dicked. He seems to really come alive when Bobby puts it to him roughly. When they've finished, their combined sweat and cum have completely destroyed the body art.

I was pleased to see Studio 2000 credit the real artists whose work was seen throughout the film. And while I don't see a flood of artist-inspired porn coming anytime soon, "Mount Me" takes some of the too-serious starch out of the artists' image. The scene not to be missed is the electric pairing of Jed Wilcox and Jason Kingsley. It's never clear to me where these models emigrated from, but their sing-song accents add some sexy spice to the proceedings.

DVD features: Chapters; galleries; bloopers; cast bios (stats and videographies); trailers ("Card Tricks" and "Body Shots"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).

A DVD Review by Rick Forrent

My grandfather, aunt and brother are, all incredible artists. I, on the other hand, can barely tremble my way through a palsied stick man figure. In fact, I will never forget the look of dazed shock on my 8th grade art teacher's face upon her discovery of my attempt at creating my own classic rock album cover. It was, well, classic and immediately rendered her hip project totally unremarkable. Fortunately, I don't need a degree in drawing to enjoy John Travis and Studio 2000's amusing new romp, Mount Me, featuring my new favorite porn star of all time -- Jason Ridge.

Mount Me chronicles the sexual adventures that take place in an art studio/ gallery apartment owned by humpy stud-winks Jason Kingsley and Aaron Ashford. There is much splattering of paint and spraying of cum, and you don't have to be an art critic to go away happy.

Ashford starts things off by getting put out by the shorter, beefier Jason Harley. Harley has a chunky monkey with a huge head that he, obviously, loves getting worked over. I have rarely seen someone enjoy getting his grand gland worshipped as much as Harley, and the look of pure, astonished bliss upon his closed-eyed, handsome mug during the servicing is worth the price of the rental alone. He, most -- or should I say moist -- assuredly, thanks Ashford for his efforts, though, by giving him a good slamming against the work table, and things all end on a deliciously sticky -- and colorful -- note.

The trend is on! The shorter, bulkier, above-mentioned Kingsley does a double whammy on the leaner, taller Jed Wilcox. Other than that, these two almost identically facially featured lads are well met on the sex court, and much huffing and puffing and blowing down of houses gets done in this sweaty segment. Kingsley fucks Wilcox with his hooded salty plunger with a macho grace and ease. Wilcox, perhaps the sexier of the two, gets a whack at Kingsley's ass -- providing the hottest moment (or two) of this vaguely incendiary scene -- but before you can, quickly, poison your ailing grandmother's oatmeal -- Kingsley is back on the prowl and pounding away at Wilcox's pouting and spectacular posterior.

As for my best boy, Ridge has never looked hotter. He is close-cropped, a bit beefier than normal and throwing down the masculine stud action like nobody's business. Innocent-looking Matthew Green is swept away by Ridge's intensity, and if I encountered a male tsunami like Ridge, I would let go of whatever tree I was clinging to and get engulfed too! Before the overpowering, though, there is some nice cocksucking, involving humpy Joey Milano that proves that Ridge and Green are dedicated and energetic log lovers. They truly are something to behold. But before you can shout, "Leave it to Beaver" -- and please do -- Ridge is thrusting his ever-elongating phallus into Green's hairy ass pit while Green savors Milano's meaty hole. The trysting of this threesome is truly one of the most beautiful stage pictures in the film. In fact, this image is only surpassed by the final shots of Ridge's rapid piston blasting into Milano -- yes, folks, both these ponies get ridden by my cowboy on a barstool! It's a wonder that Milano can take such a pummeling but not any wonder why he would want to. Ridge is truly that hot!

Finally, it's the revenge of the twiddly-winks! Or at least, so it -- at first -- seems. But while Bobby Williams is slighter and more baby-faced than his hulkier, bulkier partner, Marco Pirelli, the masculine aggression and energy that Williams has makes him one of the toughest punks in this film. He has the most natural energy and instinct of the performers and is a joy to watch. He gives Pirelli his heavy-headed, massive surprise with unnerving precision and force, using so much power, that at one point he has to grab onto Pirelli's outstretched muscle-twined leg for balance and support. Williams is a star-in-the-making in my book and almost supercedes my love for Ridge -- but not quite. Williams, for now, will have to settle for the energized moans and frenetic explosions that erupt from Pirelli because of the amazing screwing that Williams gives him in this classic, highly charged fuck scene.

So all those art classes be damned! I didn't need a one of them to enjoy Travis and Studio 2000's charming and adventurous Mount Me. (And a little bit of that love muscle, Ridge, didn't hurt either!)

- Christian James