Though Kristen Bjorn certainly can't be accused of churning out video after video, this is his first in quite a while, you can be sure that when he does release a new one, it will be wonderful. And, "The Isle of Men" is sure to be considered one of his best, ever. It also features 18 of the studliest men on Planet Earth. There are very few times a reviewer can call a video an unqualified success, but this is most definitely one. Bjorn manages once again not only to combine the best elements of porn and erotica, but also to set a new standard for other makers of the genre. Set in an old Caribbean seaport (could be Havana, could be San Juan, could be somewhere else), "The Isle of Men" opens with a sweeping vista of an old harbor, with the ruins of a fort or city serving as backdrop. The costuming is on target, with the shirts worn open in the front, lots of gold jewelry, and Panama hats and cigars thrown in for good measure. I couldn't help but wonder if Bjorn had been influenced by, oh, "Before Night Falls," for example.
In the opener, two utterly delectable guys, (Juan Jimenez and Lazaro Carrera), clad in the aforementioned short-sleeve shirts and Panama hats, hook up in a narrow open passageway when Jimenez hauls out his thick uncut dick for a piss. Jimenez is a major find. Ruggedly handsome, built with bulging muscles, and a dick like a club, Jimenez would be the perfect bait to use to catch any prey -- but that's getting ahead in the story. As Jimenez and Carrera leave the waterfront, arm in arm, a huge freighter passes in the background, creating a wonderful, romantic backdrop. As the two head up the street to Jimenez' place, they pass a gorgeous goateed stranger (Arpad Miklos), and notice him with interest, but keep going. As soon as Jimenez and Carrera are alone they begin kissing passionately. When Jimenez' dick is unleashed from his pants, it literally leaps forward, and its length and girth are unbelievable. Carrera manages to suck Jimenez, but not without some difficulty. Jimenez, proving that he is a real super stud, urges Carrera on throughout the scene, growling gutturally in Spanish as the bottom services his meat. Jimenez blows his first load all over Carrera's face, but there are many more to come. Jimenez props Carrera's leg up on a chair to allow him easy access to the stud's vulnerable, if eager, butthole. Carrera takes it all in one thrust, with Jimenez' urging. But then, and this is a very nice directorial touch by Bjorn, the camera takes a long-angle shot of the two, and in the foreground we can see they are being watched by a stranger who is smoking in the shadows.
Back to the other smoking action. Jimenez pulls out of Carrera's ass mid-fuck to pay a little homage to the tight hole by rimming it. Then he slides back in for more fucking, and again, pulls out for a rim session. Carrera shoots his load while Jimenez' monster cock is still deep inside him, then Jimenez pulls out and shoots all over Carrera's ass. The man in the shadows (Daniel Rivero) comes forward then and lauds the performance he has just seen. He is Jimenez' lover, and apparently the two do this sort of thing often. Soon all three studs are kissing each other, and then Rivero sucks Jimenez while Carrera rims the big stud's asshole. In no time at all, Jimenez is blowing another load (his third so far, if you're keeping count). Rivero then flips back and Carrera fucks his throat while Jimenez slides his huge dick into Carrera's ass. Rivero gets a closer look at the two fucking this time, from just beneath Carrera. Rivera blows a huge load on Carrera's face and lips, and Carrera shoots on Rivero, while still stuffed full of Jimenez' dick. This time, as Jimenez shoots, the camera catches it from below. Next, Rivero is ready to be fucked, and sits on Jimenez' cock. Jimenez sucks Carrera while Rivero is riding his dick, and Jimenez cums yet again, while Carrera cums on Jimenez' face. The scene ends with Carrera eating his cum off Jimenez' face. (Yes, that means Jimenez cums five, count 'em five times in the first scene. It may be a record.)
In the next scene, handsome Mark Anthony is cruising the streets, with, oddly enough, a cruise ship in the harbor background. Anthony is being followed by two guys, that I wouldn't mind tailing me, the tattooed and muscular Lucas Magalhaes and the sinewy and well-defined Iván Andros. Not to mention Miklos, who is still looking for action himself, though he again loses out. When Anthony catches on, and turns around to face his pursuers, he is more than willing to follow the studs home for a three-way. There is a major kissing scene between the three, then Anthony leans over to suck on Magalhaes' protruding nipples and even more protruding (still covered by pants) crotch. Magalhaes then hauls out his big uncut dick and massive, low-hanging balls, and Anthony deep-throats the big dick and tongues Magalhaes' balls. Andros joins in, and they take turns sucking Magalhaes. Then Andros gets behind Magalhaes and rims his ass while Anthony keeps working on the stud's dick. Next, Anthony sits on Magalhaes meat and bounces up and down while sucking on Andros. Anthony blows his first load while still riding Magalhaes for all he is worth, then sucks Andros to a big, spurting orgasm (Andros is arguably the biggest load-spewer in the whole tape), while still impaled on Magalhaes' dick. The three then get down to a three-way suck that has Magalhaes in the middle sucking on Andros with Anthony sucking Magalhaes. In a cum-soaked finale, Anthony shoots again, then Magalhaes and Andros (again, massively) shoot almost simultaneously. Anthony and Magalhaes next lead Andros to a very creaky table (credit Bjorn with having the sense and courage to leave it in, since otherwise the noise from the sex with the guys would have been lost, too). Andros is splayed out as Magalhaes and Anthony rim him, then suck him. Magalhaes then fucks Andros, but not before first blowing a load all over Anthony's face. Anthony gets yet another face full of cum from Andros, who shoots while still being fucked. But they aren't done yet. Next is a three-way fuck with Andros in the middle, taking Magalhaes up the ass while stuffing Anthony with his own uncut meat. Bjorn uses every possible camera angle to show all the action (probably not an easy feat, keeping the guys all hard and ready to go while doing all those set-ups). The three again shoot huge loads at the end of the scene.
In the third scene, another pair of gorgeous hunks (Tony Lazzari and Alexandro Aris) are walking the streets with their shirts open to catch the breeze, and revealing huge pecs and six-pack abs. They pass Miklos, who is still wandering around, and Miklos, struck by them, has an immediate fantasy about the two having sex.
Aris unzips first, revealing a monster dick with an upward curve, which Lazzari eagerly gobbles up. Aris has those wonderful balls that dance in the sac when he is excited, and he leaves a thick wad of jizz on Lazzari's hand when he cums. Then, Aris bends Lazzari over the sofa for a tongue-fuck and he licks Lazzari from his hole to the tip of his cock. The two then share a side-by-side fuck that ends with Lazzari shooting first, then Aris pulling out for his own orgasm. Back outside, the wandering stud (Miklos) is still on the prowl as he spots a cutie by the pier (Christopher Collins) and two bikini-clad studs playing on the beach (Eric Leneau and Mario De Lazarus). Again, Miklos' imagination runs wild, this time putting the three guys together in a hot scene that starts with Collins releasing both of the other guys' dicks from their Speedos, and then sucking them off in tandem. Both Leneau and De Lazarus are well hung, so Collins has his work cut out for him, but he makes both guys spurt, leaving him with cum dripping off his chin. Then Leneau and De Lazarus go ass-up for Collins, and he takes turns fucking them. When Collins is inside Leneau, he fingers De Lazarus' ass. As soon as Leneau spews, he goes back to De Lazarus, again fucking him deeply, and then Collins pulls out and cums on De Lazarus' ass. Collins leans over and laps his own cum off the ass he just fucked.
Miklos' imagination is boundless, apparently, because he then puts all five studs from the last two scenes together in a bathroom orgy. De Lazarus sucks off Lazzari while he rides a dick, and all five of the guys again have cum-shots. The next scene opens on a balcony, where tight young muscle hunk Jose Luis Vasquez is sunning himself when two bike riders on the street have an accident. Vasquez invites the two (Luis Clemente and Pietro Rosselli) up for some TLC, and when erections appear, the minor injuries are forgotten. Again, Bjorn does some clever camera work here, and I'm not sure if it involves time-lapse photography or not -- Clemente and Rosselli raise erections without being touched -- their dicks start out at half-mast, and we watch as they grow and point to the sky, seemingly of their own accord. However it is accomplished, it is a very hot trick. First, Vasquez sucks both bike studs off, then they bend Vasquez over a chair and Rosselli does some major foot worship, licking Vasquez' toes and feet, while Vasquez sucks Clemente. Clemente and Rosselli are still wearing some of their bike gear, including gloves, in the scene. Next, Rosselli bends Vasquez' dick back and licks it while shoving his nose into Vasquez' ass. Rosselli then tongue-fucks Vasquez, before sliding his dick into Vasquez' ass. Rosselli is good-looking enough to walk the runways of Milan, so seeing him get so raunchy is a major turn-on. Vasquez continues to suck Clemente while getting fucked and jerks his own dick to orgasm. Then Clemente shoots on Vasquez' face, and Rosselli cums on Vasquez' ass. Vasquez then leads the two to a hallway, where he spreads his legs out so wide he reminds you of the men's gymnastic event at the Olympics. Clemente gets into his ass this time, while Rosselli takes the front. Again, all three shoot their loads. But there is more. Vasquez, Rosselli and Clemente then take to the bed, where Clemente bottoms for Vasquez this time, and Vasquez and Rosselli sixty-nine while Vasquez gets fucked. Then Rosselli fucks Clemente while Clemente sucks Vasquez. Versatility, anyone?
In the final scene, Miklos finally gets his man, or three of them, to be exact, when he uses a key to get some Navy guys (in their uniform whites, no less) up on his rooftop garden. Antonio Armani, Dan Dirk and Ivan Cseska play the sailors. Miklos takes a turn kissing each guy (they are lined up in a row), then goes back and does it again. Then, when the sailors drop trou, Miklos falls to his knees, and, in wonderment akin to a starving man being faced with three delicious, but very different, meals, revels in the sight for a second. Finally, Miklos dives in and samples all three. It's smorgasbord time. After Miklos sucks all three dicks, he takes each guy's load on his chest, and he's still fully dressed. Turnabout is fair play, so next the three sailors all go down on Miklos -- and he cums all over the hairy chest of Dan Dirk. Inside the apartment, two of the sailors bottom for the third and Miklos, again, all shoot big loads. In the finale, Miklos reclines and Dirk sits on his dick while sucking Armani and Cseska fingers Dirk while Miklos is fucking him. Then Cseska slides into Dirk's ass next to Miklos, and Dirk takes both dicks with ease. Dirk blows a load on Miklos' chest, and Cseska slides out of Dirk's ass, and shoots his load all over it. Then Cseska pulls Miklos' dick out of Dirk's ass and jerks the stud off.
Fade to credits. The end.
"The Isle of Men" is yet another Kristen Bjorn masterwork.
The DVD version includes full-motion chapters and a slide-show photo gallery.
A DVD Review by Martin Cox
It has been a few years since Bjorn has contributed anything brand spankin' new to the world of porn. Not that he has been out of the lexicon. In fact, if you read this column or visit our Web site, you are apt to run into references to him. Most any movie featuring a non-American cast is ripe for comparison to His Majesty, Bjorn. Let's just say right here and right now that there is absolutely no comparing!
If there can be any complaint about Bjorn flicks, it might be that they are very similar to one another. So what? When you have something that is so close - we are talking this close - to perfection, why fuck with it? At any rate, rabid Bjorn viewers will surely recognize some of the 18 (!) faces (and fat, uncut cocks) featured in this cast. Mark Anthony is a fan favorite, and his waspy good looks are accentuated here when he is paired with two gorgeous, dark Lotharios. Bjorn has assembled a group of guys in four exotic locales (Puerto Rico, Jamaica, Cayman Islands and the Bahamas), using the common denominator that the spots are all islands and that these men have all been put here for our collective pleasures.
As usual, the gents are not only perfect physical specimens with giant appendages, they are also all total and complete workhorses. These guys cum and cum and cum and then cum some more. They make their entire performances look not only passionate and wonderful but effortless too. The cast seems to have a collective sexual appetite that would put any of us horndogs to shame.
Like most of his other films, this one hasn't much story but is rather a series of lusty loops strung together with breathtaking shots of exotic locales. Most of the vignettes involve several guys and begin with public cruising. Once the men make eye contact on the street, they follow one another to an empty room and have at it.
One amazing sex scene begins with Juan Jimenez, a delicious looking Latin lover, finding a playmate (Lazaro Carerra) on an empty village street. The two retire to a second floor apartment and eagerly kiss and stroke another. It is only after they have their huge, uncut cocks out that the stranger notices that they are being watched by Daniel Rivero, a slightly older, more masculine man. Jimenez quickly tells his Daddy that he has brought Carrera home and "warmed him up" for him. The scene, like the others, simply sizzles - the guys go after one another with equal aplomb and verve. These guys pretty much devour one another - the fucking and sucking seems to go on forever and include more than a few great cum shots. In fact, these guys eat their own cum too - yum!
Eric Leneau and Luis Clemente are gymnasts turning handsprings on a beach and being watched by Christopher Collins, who is quite yummy! Soon he is imagining kneeling in front of them and pulling down their Speedos to reveal a pair of gorgeous, fat, uncut dicks. After sucking them both and taking their gooey loads on his pretty unshaven face Collins positions them atop a counter, facing a mirror. As he fucks one, he fingers the other, all the while the three men's eyes meet in the mirror. After fucking one for a bit, Collins pulls out and enters the other - very sexy stuff to be sure!
Other scenes include a fiery three-way featuring Antonio Armani and Arpad Miklos as bikers, complete with spandex. After a cheesy accident, they get their injuries checked out by a cigar-chomping local who quickly peals the spandex off of the riders' chiseled legs. Bjorn uses a crazy time-lapse photography trick (remember those films of plants growing when you were in third grade?) to show the bikers' dicks growing, growing, growing. After some great deep kissing and deep throating, these guys perform a spicy fuck train in the apartment archway the middle guy, with his big cock in his buddy and his other buddy's bigger cock in his greedy hole, controls the entire fuck session by rocking backward and forward while his friends stand perfectly still and let him do all the work!
Dan Dirk, Ivan Cseska, and Armani star as three Navy men, complete with white uniform and captain's hats. They get into really steamy action with Dirk accepting both guys huge ramrods into his willing hole at the same time. The setup is really well done, with Dirk first receiving one giant cock, then the cock with a finger, then with two and then three fingers. By the time he is being penetrated by both big dicks, his chute is wide open and ready to receive - the top guys are able to actually fuck him hard, in and out, both at the same time. This is no lame ass double penetration where some dude is stuffed quickly with two cocks and then the scene ends - here there is actual fucking going on! Again, there is some cum eating before the scene ends.
It really isn't that necessary to break down each of the scenes included, as they are all winners. In fact, it is important to point out that each scene sizzles hotter than the last. The movie is very lengthy, and not a second is wasted. Each scene is extended, adding sense of realism to the sex that is often lacking in porn. Just as you think the scene is winding down, it just heats right back up again! Talk about getting more bang for your buck! Included is the really hot double penetration, the scorching doorway fuck train (a Bjorn trademark!), guys eating up their own loads off of their partners, hot bods, facials, look-ma-no-hands cumshots (yet another of Bjorn,s calling cards!), etc.
The DVD release of this feature includes a really cool motion menu and a slide show of hot stills and publicity shots of the performers. However, there aren't any other cool extras, not even any previews for Bjorn's other opuses. Anyway you slice it, this flick is well worth the cost. In fact, it would be worth twice the price, and you know it!
- Scott Templeton
