Whew! What a cast list! A real sextravaganza from 1998, replete with studs, sex, smart-ass quips, and even a plot. It has all of Catalina's positives (superb production values, great lighting). The cast is outstanding; there's really not a loser among them. -- lots of variety: smooth and hairy, blonds and brunets, even a few tattoos. The story is inspired by the Hollywood release "I Know What You Did Last Summer." This porn version, however, takes some pretty weird twists and turns.

As our story opens, Steve Rambo crumples up Ray Harley's invitation to a reunion on the lake. Boyfriend Andrew Lennox questions him. Boy, is Steve ever touchy about the subject of returning home! Somehow, Andrew talks him into going, and in gratitude Steve has sex with him, first chowing down on Andrew's fat Australian sausage and giving it some great deep-throat action. Moving to the bedroom, Andrew gives Steve one of the most enthusiastic rimmings on record, burying his face between Steve's muscular cheeks. He fucks Steve with his huge dick, which looks great pumping in and out of Steve's tight ass. He cums on Steve's butt, and then Steve shoots. We're then treated to the opening title sequence, which has an incredibly grating heavy-metal music soundtrack. Were they aiming at an audience of rebellious pubescent suburban boys? Lighten up on the guitar riffs, honey. Steve joins his friends in someone's cute "manufactured home" where the guys are sitting around in the middle of some kind of weird drinking game. It turns out Steve and Ray Harley are ex-lovers, and the two go off to gossip about the other guys. Doug Jeffries is a newcomer; he's Rob Knox's obnoxious boyfriend. Evidently Rob puts up with him because he "helped Rob through his troubles," as Ray delicately puts it. What he means is: Rob's nuttier than a fruitcake! Fresh out of the psych ward! A real Looney-tune! Steve pouts because Ray has a new boyfriend, Dean Spencer. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang trades quips in the living room. We have to mention at this point that the writing is pretty good, especially for a porn movie. These guys insult each other like the petty queens that they are. Chief among them are Matt Douglas and Doug Jeffries (who seems perfectly comfortable playing a traitorous bitch -- wonder what that means?). Doug actually puts a lot into his performance, and it's quite entertaining. Matt gets some of the best lines, though. Someone asks where Rob met Doug; Matt responds, "Whores 'R' Us." Later, Doug is watching a dirty movie in the bedroom, but his boyfriend is uninterested. The next scene is a video-within-a-video, something of a Catalina specialty. Musclestud Tom Matthews is photographing German Thom Barron while Eduardo assists. Why, it's like a little United Nations in there! We get to hear Thom speak, and discover he sounds a lot like Siegfried and Roy. Thom soon needs fluffing, and Tom obliges, with Eduardo unable to resist joining in. Tom valiantly swallows Thom's giant wurst, then he and Eduardo take turns. Believe us, there's enough there for both of them. Eduardo looks better than ever, and he's soon fucking Tom's hairy ass as Tom sucks Thom (thank goodness for that extra "h"). After Thom takes a turn at Tom's ass, Eduardo is the lucky-middle of a meat-sandwich, with Thom's big cock up his hairy ass while he fucks Tom. This is a great scene with plenty of muscle, hard dick, and horny fucking. All shoot their wads in turn. Tom's cum-shot shows him poised over a big, greasy dildo -- we think part of this scene was edited out. The next day Dean leaves the house and Ray and Steve jog to the lake. It turns out that Steve left town because of some mysterious traumatic event.

Next, the boys all play at the pool, followed by more queenie chatter. Doug comes on to Ray, whose response is, "If you think you're getting into my pants, you're not. I've got one asshole in there already." My, aren't we clever? In chatting with Rob, Steve suggests that last summer's trauma was the cause of Rob's own "troubles" (he's a fruitcake, you dumb schmuck!), but Rob reassures him. Rob also tells him he trusts Doug. Well, we SAID he was a fruitcake. Sure enough, that night Doug sneaks into Steve's room. Although Steve initially resists, he abruptly becomes enthusiastic after Doug explains that Rob lost his sex drive in the psych ward. Yeah, no kidding. So Steve says, "Just because I don't like you, that doesn't mean I won't do you." Ooohhh. The guiding philosophy of today's gay slut. So Steve blows and rims Doug, who soon fucks him sideways and doggy, pounding away with his balls slapping Steve's ass. Doug has some of the best balls in the business, actually. Doug shoots a nice load, then Steve. Just as abruptly, Steve sends Doug packing.

Doug returns to find Rob packing Doug's clothes for him. Rob's finally wised up. This brings out the worst in Doug, who sneers at Rob and bitches about their sex life: "These days when we fuck I don't know whether to embrace you or embalm you!" Rob decks Doug.

Steve and Ray are visiting old haunts, so to speak. When they return home Ray reveals he's been receiving anonymous messages, including one that says "Murder!" Uh-oh! The eavesdropping Doug invites himself in (he seems to have made up with Rob), and the sordid story is revealed. Last summer Ray was "cock-hunting in the woods" (his words) in the waning days of his relationship with Steve. He spied someone sucking off Donnie Russo, and Ray soon takes over. Donny looks better than ever, and even has all his natural body hair. Ray put a rubber on Donnie's cock and Donnie fucked him right there in the forest. (We wonder what one uses as a trophy when he goes "cock-hunting?"). Donnie cums, then sucked Ray until HE cums. The only problem with this scene is that it's all filmed with a blue filter (to show us it's a flashback), so details are vague. But that's not all. A drunken Steve, Matt and Rob confronted Donnie and Ray exiting the woods. After picking up Ray, the drunken Steve accidentally ran over poor Donnie, who goes flying over the windshield and gets an ugly gash in his forehead. Ooops! He's dead. But the gang decides to hide the body and hope it all just goes away. Lo and behold: It does! Despondent over the fact that his heinous crime has been discovered, Steve drowns his sorrows in a beer at Jared Wright's bar. We get to hear Jared's voice: very husky and sexy. Hank Hightower is happily blowing Mike Vespa in the corner while a Sharon Kane song wails on the radio. Jared (unbelievably) asks barback Joshua Scott to stop the action, but Joshua ends up joining in. Jared complains, but is ignored, and after Steve leaves, Jared decides if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Hank sucks Jared's gigantic prick, one of the biggest and hardest I've ever seen, and Joshua and Mike trade blowjobs. Josh cums, then returns to sucking. Jared then fucks Joshua's muscled ass while Mike rims Hank. Jared's dick looks fantastic, especially penetrating the hunky bodybuilder Joshua. Then he alternates fucking Mike and Hank. It's some great fuck action, and Jared, Mike and Hank cum. Steve returns home to an empty house with the lights not working. He finds three of his pals dead in the basement! Eeek! Ray arrives, and the two rush off in a panic to a sleazy motel. The next morning, Steve finds a bloody relic from Donnie on his windshield and the two careen off in his SUV to see if Donnie's rotting carcass is still where they left it the summer before. While he waits for Steve to investigate, Ray is surprised by someone, and when Steve returns after not finding a body, he has a NEW body to worry about. Then poor Steve is chased by a car, all the way home.

When he arrives all his pals are sitting around playing Tip-It. (We didn't know they still made that game.) We must say it was quite hysterical watching Doug Jeffries sneer beside the Tip-It set-up.

Guess what? It was all a huge practical joke. And it lasted a whole year. Hmmm. We think Rob isn't the only fruitcake in the crowd. Evidently Steve was quite a prankster himself, and they were all paying him back. And now that the tension is over, nobody is worried about monogamy anymore, so all the clothes come off for a final fuckfest. We won't go into detail, but the big surprise is when the rather queenly Matt Douglas strips down, revealing a fine, tall body and a huge dick. Doesn't seem so queenly now, does he? After a round of sucking and a climax for everyone, Matt fucks Rob, Doug fucks hairy-chested Ray, and Dean fucks Steve to much moaning and grunting. Everybody cums again. And we hope they've all learned their lesson:

1) Practical jokes are mean and dangerous. 2) Tip-It leads to orgies.

DVD features: Chapter selections; slide-show gallery; bonus scene (a suck-and-fuck scene from 1983's "Brother Load," directed by William Higgins, starring Bobby Madison and Paul Madison); previews; and no regional coding (with Macrovision copy-protection).

A DVD Review by The Porn Emperor