"Hard as Wood" is, among many things, my favorite of the Monster Bangs to date, thanks in no small part to Frenchman François Sagat's sensational debut. To add fuel to the campfire (and he's one hot motherfucker, let me tell you), all of the men are equally potent, but François' woodsy duet with Mr. Brandon is simply spectacular. There are many splendors in the grass and dirt out in the woods here: the camerawork, lighting and direction are all top-notch throughout.
The set-up: Mike Power and Michael Brandon tell tales of their sexual experiences and observations in the woods as they sit by a roaring fire, all the while yanking on their huge cocks (Mike's cock is as big as, if not bigger, than Michael Brandon's, and that ain't no campfire tale, folks). They suck down beer and each other's pricks between stories. The first is all about François ...
François Sagat is an overwhelming vision of masculine beauty and perfection. He has it all: looks, body, dick, ass, balls -- the works. And he puts all of his considerable charms to work as a roadside attraction Michael Brandon would be insane to ignore. They get down to business immediately, François gulping down Michael's enormous prick, proving that he is an expert and greedy cocksucker, if Michael's moans of approval are any indication. They passionately kiss between gulps, François looking up at Michael with that "I know this feels good" look in his eye, his rock-hard uncut dick pointing skyward as he lovingly worships Michael's cock. It must indeed feel good, Michael shoots a juicy load on François' chest soon enough. The phenomenal deep-dicking is next, Michael bending François over to plow and then missionary fuck his charge relentlessly (it is François who is moaning pleasurably now). Michael fucks him wildly, pulling out, plunging back in, working that ass but good. Toward the end, François is sweating, Michael is sweating, hell, I was sweating, and then François lets loose his load as Michael dots his tummy with yet another load.
Chuck DiRocco and Nick Piston are the tattooed subjects of Mike Power's tale (which he tells so well, with a British accent, that Michael Brandon cums just listening to the raunchy Englishman). Chuck is rough trade personified, with a twist. He's as handsome a man as you'll find with intense eyes. Nick, also a rough one, has great ink and a great cock as thick as a French baguette. In a field, as the sun beats down on their sweat-slicked bodies, they trade ferocious blowjobs, Nick deep-throating Chuck to climax, a dick he then cleans of its post-ejaculation cum. Chuck then chows down on Nick's fattie to climax, coating his chest with spunk. Chuck fucks Nick over a barrel next (or, more accurately, a turned-over steel tub), every which way but loose. The camerawork here is excellent, capturing the fucking from great vantage points, particularly when Nick is sitting atop Chuck and plunging his ass up and down on the dick. Chuck, by the way, is wearing shit-kickers throughout, and I don't know if I've ever seen a raunchier (or sexier) cowboy in my life. Nick stands over Chuck to blow his second load, this time Chuck is the cum cleaner-upper, licking the just-spent cockhead as a hard day's work comes to an end and the sun sets.
Mike Power spins yet another story: While working hard, shoveling dirt out of a wheelbarrow, he spots Sean Harris walking up the road. Sean is a hairy little muscle cub with a straw cowboy hat and a pretty pink butthole. Mike kneels down and sucks Sean's pecker, twists him around, sticks his tongue up his butt, and then his humongous cock up his ass. There is an urgency and smooth momentum to these moves, Mike surrounding Sean with his aggressiveness. He really rips into Sean's small butt with his big meat, fucking him over the wheelbarrow and then atop some machinery, deep-dicking away as Sean begs for more. Mike is a tremendous fucker. He stands over Sean to dump his load and Sean stands up and pulls his pud to climax, quivering in ecstasy as Mike holds him and grins.
Colin West. Colin West. Colin West. There, I said it (three times, no less). Colin, a heavily tattooed sexual dynamo, is paired with Brazilian bombshell Rafael Alencar, a lumberjack, of sorts, who we find chopping wood. The wood-chopping gives way to wood-sucking, Colin burying Rafael's brown pole down his gullet repeatedly, Rafael stealing kisses between gulps, before he blows his load (catching the goo in his work glove). Rafael then slides his hugeness into Colin's bubble-butt doggy as Colin makes like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist," with lots of dirty-talk and name-calling as Rafael fucks his brains out, so to speak, his Prince Albert jangling noisily in the wind with every thrust. They move to a some tree stumps for more positions, Rafael eventually fucking the cum out of Colin, gives Colin a facial, Colin licks the wet cockhead, and then Rafael licks his own cum off of Colin's face as the screen fades.
Back at the campfire, the storytelling continues, and we get to see the two campfire buddies blow their loads, Mike deep-throating Michael in the process. But then Joey Russo appears, out of the darkness, a wild and sexy piglet, and he chows down on both cocks before him, taking each dick all the way down. Joey becomes a pig-on-the-spit, sucking one dick as he gets fucked by the other. In a variety of positions in front of the campfire, Joey can't get enough as he bounces back and forth between the two tops, slamming his ass up and down on the dicks, his ass glimmering with lube. He bounces up and down on Michael to cum, and then they stand over Joey to dump their final loads on his waiting ass.
DVD features: Chapters; solo scene (François jerks off in the woods); promo (J.D. Slater's music); trailers ("Monster Bang 6: Party in the Rear," "Monster Bang 5: Pokin' in the Boys Room," "Monster Bang 4: Poke Prod Penetrate!," "Monster Bang 3: Packin' Loads," "Monster Bang 1: Resort to Anything!" and "Monster Bang 2: Stick it In!"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD Review by Butch Harris
Since the release of this video gem, coverman Francois Sagat has starred in a handful of critically hailed fuck-flicks. Sporting a tattooed buzz cut and an incredibly sexy and developed physique that Tom of Finland only dreamt of drawing, Sagat's willingness to be bottom boy for the monster cock of codirector and star Michael Brandon has won me over as a fan.
The premise opens up with Mike Powers and Michael Brandon sitting naked before a campfire, each stroking their schlongs (I still don't see how Brandon has enough blood in his body to fill both his cock and his brain) and regaling each other with hot, detailed stories and fantasies. Brandon explains his fantasy; he is walking along a deserted country road and picks up Sagat for an indecent romp in the woods. Not only do both guys shoot their jizz after the oral, but they also have enough stored up for Brandon to fuck Sagat's bubble butt into next week.
While stroking, Powers recounts a little tryst for Brandon that he once witnessed: Nick Piston and Chuck Di Rocco (also billed as Chuck Scott, f.y.i.) trading some of the most intense cock and ball sucking in the western hemisphere. Di Rocco blows his load across Piston's face and open mouth, and then shoves it down his gullet for Piston to drain the last precious drops. When it's Piston's turn, he glazes Di Rocco's furry chest, then licks up his spooge and kisses Di Rocco with his cummy mouth. Well, in most porn, the scene would be over after the money shot -- not here. They two are so worked up for each other that Di Rocco bends Piston over an overturned trough and rims his ass "butt" good. Warning to the politically correct porn connoisseur: When Di Rocco is ready to bury the bone, he actually plunges the head of his cock in Piston's hole bareback a few times then sheaths it to finish the job safely. For those of you who have never seen (or rather heard) Piston get fucked, turn down the volume so the wife won't hear. He's loud, but he's hot!
There are three more smoking hot scenes in this movie, including a threesome with Powers, Brandon and sexy Joey Russo to finish off what little cum you can squeeze out of your balls at the end. If this "Quick Pick" review has done its job, you'll run out and buy, rent or borrow (I do not endorse theft or piracy even for porn -- I have a few standards left) this release. With no doubt, it will number among some of the best Brandon/Ward productions and among the best of Michael Brandon's starring roles.
DVD extras include a scene selection and 24 ball-draining minutes of other Raging Stallion productions previews.
- Ryan Williams