You know the problem with gay mobsters? Nobody sleeps with the fishes. And, instead of being made men, they make men. "The Velvet Mafia" is a stunning two-parter that tells the story of rival mob families, each headquartered on the California coast. The clever plot involves seduction, betrayal, bitter turf wars, and long-kept secrets that will change lives forever. The tongue-in-cheek dialogue propels the story before, during and after the action, a screenplay that could be used as a model for anyone who wants to pen gay porn screenplays. The seamlessness of the entire work can most likely be attributed to its creative team, the unlikely but highly successful duo of director Chris Steele and his mother, Austin Deeds, who wrote the script. Both Chris and Austin deserve laurels for this fine work, one of the best of 2006. Every attention to detail has been made, including a really nifty theme song by Mon Cousin Belge ( http://MonCousinBelge.com ), and a très sexy wardrobe by Rufskin ( http://Rufskin.com ), an apparel company with the motto "No man's ass should ever be completely covered." With a cast like this, it's hard to disagree. -- Martin Cox "The Velvet Mafia: Part 1" (Falcon Studios - FVP167) What is Dennis Hopper doing in a gay porn movie? Oh wait, that's Paul Barresi doing his best Frank Booth imitation (plus, there's the obvious "Velvet" connection). Paul stars as Mason Avalon, the head of San Francisco-based Avalon Pictures, and the arch-rival of Warren Starr (Chi Chi LaRue, looking like the bastard child of Eraserhead and Gary Oldman's version of Count Dracula), who heads L.A.- based Starr Studios. You can practically see the teeth marks on the scenery every time Paul and Chi Chi appear onscreen, and both play their roles to the hilt. Their latest rivalry is over a hot new star they both want, a young beauty played by Fox Ryder in a very impressive performance. Although Warren discovered Fox on an Iowa milk farm, Fox gets his first gig with Avalon. His co-star is beefy Erik Rhodes, and the scene is a prime example of how the script takes little humorous pokes at the gay porn world while still managing to be good porn, too. The set-up is not new, which is exactly the point: Fox plays a student who fails an exam, only to be reprimanded by his Erik, his instructor. The class? Sex Ed., of course. There's more than just a soupçon of conspiratorial wink-winking at the audience as Fox coquettishly looks up at Erik who towers over him, and says, "I guess I just don't know anything about sex." In another situation, with less humor, that line would be stale as month-old croissants. Here, it works precisely because it's an inside joke, and not just for an old porn fan like me; anyone who has ever seen a gay production will likely get the humor. Of course, Erik takes the bait that Fox has dangled so temptingly (and that's not all he dangles) and soon enough Erik's got his face buried between Fox's creamy asscheeks. In addition to a totally fuckable ass, Fox is gifted with a long, fat dick, which fits the grand old Falcon tradition. But in keeping with the remixed, Chris Steele tradition, it's Fox's delectable ass that proves the main attraction here. The fuck sequence is beautifully rendered, with Fox's ass hanging over the edge of the teacher's desk while his teacher prongs him from behind. Erik drives his meaty, uncut cock into Fox's ass, and later Fox takes over, sitting on Erik and riding him while his hardon never flags for a second. Fox's sex education class is quite comprehensive, with a lesson in topping that has him slamming Erik's ass next, and he adds his own personal touch, a few hard slaps on Erik's fine rump to spice things up. Both Erik and Fox end this thrill-a-minute scene with huge orgasms. But the moment the director yells "Cut!," the set is invaded by Warren Starr's henchmen Cassio (Matthew Rush) and Duke (Derrick Vinyard). Cassio shoots prematurely (a first for Matthew Rush, probably), blowing away the cameraman. Fair warning: don't get too attached to any of these characters, because like in any mob drama, they die pretty regularly. Matthew grabs the footage and Fox while Derrick grabs Omer, who has been hanging out on the set. Omer and Derrick share a stolen kiss, which is of course even hotter because they are members of rival families. With Fox on his way to becoming Starr Studio's next big thing, we next get a glimpse of the place's casting couch, run with great relish by Roman Heart. Roman's got a full house on his hands with three hopefuls played by Trevor Knight, Tommy Blade and Antonio Madeira. "If it ain't hard, you're gonna get fucked," threatens Roman as he exhorts the trio to produce erections. Roman quickly gets the desired effect, and with four raging hardons in the room, the sucking and rimming sequence that follows provides a dizzying array of combinations. Since Trevor's got the biggest cock, he's the one that screws everybody's else's brains out in the fuck action, and Roman's performance on bottom, just before his body is drenched with his buddies' loads, is especially entertaining. Meanwhile, Omer and Derrick have been meeting on the sly, having a dangerous romance that isn't entirely secret, and which leads to Erik having Derrick roofie'd in Avalon's sex club. Cory Bolton and Richie Fine abet in the set-up for revenge, as does Talvin DeMachio, who looks more pumped up than ever. After Derrick is stripped, photographed, and out for the count, Cory and Richie get turned on and dive on Talvin's cock. Erik walks back in on the scene, making it an orgy, dramatically and impressively stripping off his shirt to reveal his buff torso. A daisy-chain rim scene follows, and then side-by-side duo fucks, with Talvin and Erik on top. The scene reaches its high point when big stud Erik lies back and holds his thickly muscled legs wide apart to be fucked by Richie. Erik's tattooed pecs and shoulders are the landing site for lots of jism at the end of the scene. Part of the deal Fox cuts with his new studio is that he is guaranteed a "Best Actor" award for his work, and that means that some palms (and other body parts) will have to be greased. As the man who can make Fox's demands reality, Jason Ridge is offered a piece of Fox's tail to sweeten the deal. It's a tempting offer to be sure, but Jason only has eyes for Matthew, who's the one brokering the arrangement. With a quick dismissal, Matthew sends Fox away and immediately starts fucking Jason's face. The oral sex sequence of this scene is riveting, and Jason and Matthew have so much fun trading off suck-jobs that it's almost as good as being there. Even so, that's nothing compared to how excellent the fuck part of the scene is, with Matthew hard-driving into Jason's ass, his own ass muscles flexing with each forward thrust. Matthew's dick must hit Jason's G-spot in just the right place, because when Jason cums while Mathew is fucking him, it looks like a gallon of wet, white blobs of cream erupts from the head of his cock. In the final scene, Erik confronts Omer with his ill-gotten evidence of Derrick's dalliance, and threatens to tell Mason everything if Omer doesn't break it off -- just as Mason walks in and says, "Tell me what?" Oops.