The breakdown in the title actually refers to a truck rather than mental illness, so if you were expecting that, I’m sorry, but I insist that you watch “Battle Creek Breakdown,” another masterpiece work from Joe Gage. There are four scenes, all simple duos, but so few directors know how to do “sizzle” like Mr. Gage. He has eight bountifully talented men and if the reasons he has for them to actually have sex are somewhat trite, the sex itself explodes with vitality. J.R. Matthews, an exceedingly handsome man who looks just as hot in a suit as he will out of it, comes to check in at an out-of-the-way lodge (it’s a Titan movie, so nothing is on a main road, of course). Behind the desk is delicious beefy Tony Buff, living up to his name as he’s stark naked checking J.R. in. J.R. is nervous and even tries to block the sight line of Tony’s crotch with a vase of flowers, but Tony insists that no clothing is allowed at this resort. J.R. won’t have any of it, but Tony is convincing, telling J.R. how freeing it is to “let it all hang out.” Cut to J.R. walking through the woods in just socks and boots, his enormous muscular body freed of confining clothes. This light-haired guy, traipsing through the forest with a full erection, is too must to resist, mouthwatering! He comes across inked Tony fixing the water heater. “What happens … when … you know … you get aroused?” J.R. shyly asks. Tony happens to have one too, so the answer is obvious. Director Joe Gage, ever the master of upping a scene’s tension, has the two go through quite a lot before anything actually happens. The beginning of their actual scene is just the two of them standing a few yards apart touching themselves on Tony’s commands and teasing questions. The camera worships J.R.’s body, both in front and from behind, revealing an ass so plump it looks like it came from a pumpkin patch. Tony has J.R. finger himself and then J.R. finally joins Tony so they can stand side by side. J.R. is able to cum just with Tony feeling around his ass and then Tony has an explosion that nearly reaches the camera a few feet away. “Now that we got that out of the way, why don’t you come with me,” Tony suggests. He first wants them to take a piss together, and though J.R. is still shy, he is able to let loose a long-lasting stream in tandem with Tony’s. And then, the sex finally starts! J.R. leans up against the water heater and pokes his lightly-hairy butt in Tony’s direction. Tony parts the cheeks and starts licking with a strong flicking tongue. The spitting rimjob is totally terrific, a nice preview of what Tony can really do in J.R.’s ass. He slides his cock in with knowing ease and then gives J.R. a very stylish fuck. He continues the mood of growing passion with some slow strokes, but also displays some power with faster work, and helps J.R. shine with full-in-and-out thrusts until J.R. sits to ride on Tony to really prove his bottoming worth. He bounces splendidly and then goes on his back for more of Tony’s active fucking. This Tony can do with no hands, and very fast. J.R. has his second impressive cum blast while being fucked and then Tony pulls out quickly to finish, using J.R.’s cum as lube. J.R. has finally shed his inhibitions and stress under Tony’s loving attention. From there, we are sent to a home-makeover TV show! What links them is the sense of pressure. J.R. had it in the first scene and good old-fashioned sex took care of that. Here, the stressed ones are accented hunk Christopher Saint, who is in charge of the remodel, and his head carpenter, rugged bearded Gio Forte. Gio is actually calmer than Christopher, who is so crazed by a deadline that when Gio asks where the bathroom is so he can pee, Christopher pushes a bucket toward him and says, “why not just do it here?” Gio is wearing overalls, so it takes him a while to get to his cock, and by then, Christopher’s uncut pecker is already pissing into the bucket. They finish up and Gio puts back on his overalls. Gio has his arms full trying to dislodge shelving and innocently asks Christopher to get him a wrench. Christopher reaches into Gio’s pants and says halting, “it doesn’t seem to … ” and before he’s able to finish that sentence, Gio produces it with a free hand. Yes, friends, he was trying to get Christopher’s hand in his pants. Clever porn star! Gio undresses again, this time revealing a hard boner, so Christopher, now suddenly moving as slowly as possible to keep the moment going, starts sucking it. The blowjob is delivered initially with aching care, Christopher savoring every trip down the full length of Gio’s cock. He’s so hungry and so orally able. There’s a lot of good handiwork and oodles of spit to help. His face and the floor below him are soaked by the time the guys switch places and Gio starts sucking. Christopher is then finally naked, his flawless body gleaming as he face-fucks Gio. Christopher reclines on the floor so both can cover him in cum. Gio gets Christopher up and then bends him over the shelving, quickly hurrying his face in between Christopher’s succulent asscheeks. Now it’s Gio who works nice and slow, his tongue fully enjoying Christopher’s hole and his beard tickling the hairless area. Christopher stays in position while Gio gets a condom and then enters Christopher’s tight ass. Christopher plants his feet firmly on the ground to make sure Gio has to work hard, which is just the inspiration Gio needs to slam the heck out of Christopher. Christopher loves it, because his cock is hard the whole time Gio pushes into him, rocking the whole shelving unit. It’s a big boisterous fuck. Surprisingly, Gio then reclines on a table and Christopher does him missionary. The shots from underneath are heavenly, seeing those two juicy asses separated only by Christopher’s fast-moving dick. The guys are just as comfortable in these positions as they were with the reverse. In fact, Christopher seems even more possessed by the lust bug. Gio cums being nailed and then Christopher finishes. Apparently Christopher and Gio found time to actually finish the remodel, because the thrilled couple is shown their new domain after the sex. At the very beginning of the movie, we met plumbers Will Parker and David Dakota. Their truck had broken down in the middle of nowhere. They tie into the story because they are near the resort in the first scene and had been offered the job of handling the plumbing for the makeover show. Anyway, none of that really matters as they realize they are stranded and find an excuse to strip down outside. David is a taller imposing guy with a chiseled body, while Will is smaller and more compact, no less muscular or divine. The two stand together to shoot off huge arcs of piss, so strong that they sound of it hitting the leaves blow them sounds like a rain storm. Done peeing, they are both instantly hard. They rub their cocks together until brunet cutie Will grabs at David and lets David grab at him. They agree silently that Will is ready to start things off by blowing David, which he does effortlessly. David’s upward-curving cock is catnip for Will’s deep throat. He spends a decent amount of time blowing Will and then they kiss before swapping places. Will’s dick, a thick piece leading down to a mass of hair, is a bit more of a challenge for David, but David works very hard to gobble as much as he can. Sucking done, they are now ready to spew cum where they had just unleashed all that urine. I have to say that though I would love Will Parker in the dark behind a curtain, he never looks better than he does bent in half waiting to get fucked. His ass was made for pointing in the air and guiding cock into it. In fact, when David starts to burrow, it’s Will who jiggles his ass backward to get it in. From there, David takes over and socks Will with two styles: fury and beauty. The fury is simple eager harsh thrusts one after another, but the beauty is luxuriously long bursts delivered with an adoring slower pace to prolong the fun. David is so regal towering over glamorous Will and plugging him mightily. They flip flop so Will can do David missionary. A lesser performer than Will might be uncomfortable handling David, who is so much larger, but Will has a sexy hip-grind fuck style that is utterly hypnotic. He doesn’t fuck David that long, but for some reason carries a dildo in his tool box which he uses to get David to cum. At the resort from the first scene, there is a costume party for the guests at night. However, the only two who seemed to have been invited are Dean Flynn, looking outrageously hot in a superhero costume and Bryan Slater as Zorro. There’s a very strange dialogue scene between the two, both a little embarrassed to be in costume at a no-clothing resort. Bryan is the chattier one, with Dean giving only cagey responses to questions, but offering to let Bryan try on his costume. Their undressing leads to perhaps the sexiest moment in the movie. Dean very slowly pulls down his one-piece, inch by inch revealing his he-man hairy body, and Dean pulls apart his shirt, his torso heaving fully to show off his chiseled physique. They piss together over the deck railing, watering the greenery blow them. Screw the costume swap, they instead go for each other, Bryan tucking himself against Dean so they can make out. He then falls to his knees and blows Dean with flair. Dean is a hung honey, but bearded Bryan is a pro and manages to deep-throat Dean outrageously well. I guess there was no food at the party, because he certainly makes a full meal out of Dean’s dick. Dean takes a spin sucking Bryan, unloading gobs of saliva as he fights his way down to Bryan’s balls in one of the movie’s best blowjobs. Dean very rarely lets anyone steal a scene from him, and that’s because he’s simply masterful. He beats himself off with Bryan’s cock firmly lodged in his throat and then let’s Bryan cum on his chest. Bryan is pushed down so Dean can fuck him, and Dean wields his mighty cock with authority, thrusting at Bryan with increasingly volatile strokes, but yet managing to look casual, as if the top half of his body could be doing something else completely. That’s star topping! In actuality, Dean is working Bryan with gusto, and Bryan is taking every blast with glee. Flipping is back when Dean sits himself on Bryan’s dick and bounces. Once again, he takes a difficult task and does it with panache and power. The shots from behind are best, showing him pushing down to get every inch lodged in his own ass. Bryan then fucks Dean from behind, proving his pal isn’t the only one who can push his way through a tight hole with exciting abandon. Bryan really seems to enjoy pulling out all the way and then ramming back inside, and Dean doesn’t complain. They both shoot on Dean’s torso. There is a really cute trick ending to their scene, so keep watching. DVD features: Chapters; widescreen; behind-the-scenes featurette; trailers (”Slow Heat” and “Home Invasion”); and no regional coding. Blu-ray features: Chapters; 1080 high-definition; cum-shots chapter; widescreen; behind-the-scenes featurette; and trailers. [NOTE: Blu-ray™ player or PlayStation 3 is required -- http://blu-raydisc.com/ -- you cannot view the Blu-ray™ disc with a DVD player.] A DVD + Blu-Ray Review by Brent Blue ( http://www.mannet.com/ ) *** Highly, Highly Recommended ***