Have you ever wondered why it takes so long to get into the emergency room at pretty much any hospital? It all goes back to the triage unit. You can't get in until they say so. In the case of the hospital in "Triage," the waiting room is overflowing because the guys who make up the triage team are all too busy have the time of their lives fucking. Don't worry if Dr. So-and-so and Nurse So-and-so are going to get it on here, it's only a question of how long it will take! With all the Titan trimmings, Paul Wilde's superb directorial debut is one of their best. It has some of the liveliest sex I've seen in ages and all of its scenes are electric from the models' first glances to their exhausted cum-shots.

Dr. Dirk Jager is trying his hardest to look at some X-rays, but they are far less interesting than orderly Marco Blaze, who is cleaning up the room. Without saying a word, the two meet like magnets and start kissing. Dirk, so muscled I think I counted a 12-pack, is so giant he makes Marco look small, but Marco himself is built from granite. Marco takes his place in front of Dirk's mouthful of an uncut cock and starts the movie's sex with a shattering deep-throat. With nearly every gulp, he goes to Dirk's balls. Watch for the moments when Marco, face crammed full of cock, can actually sway to Dirk's gyrating rhythm. It's a wow. Hairy-chested Dirk sucks as well, having a blast trying to conquer Marco's massive veined dick. However, he's far more interested in Marco's ass, so he bends Marco over an examination chair and rams at it. It's so noisy that it attracts two viewers immediately. Dirk's topping is sublime. He isn't afraid to ram Marco with the utmost energy, never taking a break from his feverish style.

You can even hear it continuing unabated as Frank Philipp, sporting a most interesting sort of Mohawk, blows Rick Van Sant, forever mouthwatering from his boyishly handsome face down his über-manly pierced chest, start to go at it. Frank picks up on the theme of single-minded passion in the room and works on Rick's hooked monster cock with a fever that doesn't need a thermometer to be diagnosed. Dirk slashes away at Marco, now on his back, audibly even when Rick switches to blowing Frank. Rick and Frank finally join the other two to further abuse Marco (not that he's complaining). Rick is as relentless as Dirk, with an even bigger dick, while Frank keeps himself buried far inside, goaded on by the pounds Marco throws at his chest. Frank jacks Marco off while fucking him and then everyone leaves a sperm sample on the heroic orderly.

"Working at the hospital can be intense," the narrator tells us. Apparently, there are guys at this hospital so desperate to race up the ladder, they will do anything! Take, for example, Gio Forte, a swarthy tall he-man. In the middle of mopping up a room, he pisses into his bucket. The bearded daddy watches the door as he pisses, but I'm not sure if he's afraid of someone entering or waiting for it! He then continues mopping with the urine-infested water. Proper hygiene? No. Hot as hell? You bet. He's not satisfied, so he starts beating off, but luckily he's not alone for long. Red-headed beefcake Kurt Weber, with another of those washboard set of abs, needs only a smile to grab Gio's dick. Kurt is at once sensually slow and piggish as he spits all over the cock and sucks. Gio is a demanding type, almost jumping out of his skin when Kurt isn't deep-throating him. Gio then pins Kurt to the wall and worships his body briefly before going down on him. Kurt's downward-curving pecker is drool-inducing, but we don't see much of it because it's constantly lodged fully in Gio's gullet. Gio's torso is cum on twice and then he places himself on a chair so Kurt can tend to his giant ass with appropriately mannish TLC. Kurt's whole face participates in the rimming. Gio's ass is so ready for a fuck that a lesser top would almost have too easy a time doing him. However, Gio is a very squirrelly bottom and makes sure Kurt has to work hard. Kurt likes to be fully inside as much as he can. He doesn't top Gio for long before Gio stops, makes out with him and then bends him over to fuck him! Snorting Gio is thrilling to watch, threatening to blow the room's fuses with his amazing wattage. He's as masculine as they come, and he has a willing playmate in Kurt. Every muscle on his body aides in collecting enough power for this session. He pulls out just in time to cum again and then Kurt shoots, his body seizing with pleasure.

We return to the examination room, where Marco sets up an IV bag and Frank puts on a pair of black gloves. Neither one is a doctor, so methinks the tests Frank is about to take have nothing to do with medicine. Those averse to needles might want to turn away when Frank hooks the IV line into his ballsac. He and Marco then wait patiently while the saline solution fills up his sac to the point of bursting. Oh, and by "wait patiently," I mean Marco gets hard, beats off and even fingers himself. Rick, wearing just a hospital gown, rejoins the fun. He and Frank take matching steel rods and slide them into their piss holes (and remember, Frank's balls are full of saline). Frank is savagely fearless with the rod, getting it all the way inside his dick until it disappears. It's honestly one of the most fascinating displays of this particular sex act, but lest he be overshadowed, Rick manages to do the same. I mean, those rods are all the way in -- you can't see them, and they aren't small sounds!

Frank is so determined to be the MVP here that he fits two rods into his cock and then spits them out handlessly, his balls still about to pop. Not intense enough for you yet? There's more. Rick is placed on his back so Frank can fist him, and Frank goes in right to the glove line with a closed fist from the first insertion, twisting himself around on the floor as he power-fists Rick with both hands. Rick is a pro, able to turn his hole completely inside out, so Frank takes advantage and gets in halfway up to his elbow. Marco then takes over as the fisting top, punch-fisting the hell out of Rick, who is squatting on a stool blowing Frank at the same time. Rick takes it in position after position, even shooting with Frank fully up inside his ass. Marco and Frank are right behind him, and Frank's balls are still swimming in saline.

In the break room are red-clad scruffy Bryan Slater and blue-clad scruffy Charly Diaz, a gorgeous Latin man. Bryan, brandishing a grin as impressive as his hardening cock, plays with himself so lustily that Charly crosses the room to meet him in seconds. They kiss passionately, but not loudly enough to wake up slumbering bald giant Daniel Holden. Charly blows Bryan's thick stick with an oozing desire, so facile with his mouth and hands right below Bryan's chiseled abs. Charly's body is a work of art, and the camera loves watching it when Bryan sucks him. Hirsute Daniel finally wakes up (with a stiffy) when Charly is ramming his face into Bryan's ass, teasing with his shadowed cheeks and poking his tongue in commandingly. Daniel joins, and since Charly is already on his knees, he returns to blowing, going back and forth between the two succulent cocks with abandon.

Dreamboat Daniel then takes over, an expert himself with a wet warm mouth. Bryan seems to particularly adore Daniel's mouth on his dick, cooing happily, soon getting Daniel all to himself when the latter sits on Charly's face to get his ass eaten. This brings the first round of cum-shots. Charly, the movie's best muncher, goes back to working on Daniel, who keeps up with Bryan's dick, but Charly soon moves to fucking Daniel. The camerawork is dazzling, showing Charly's jittery fuck off as the scene's centerpiece. All he needs to do is swivel his hips and he can thrust all the way into Daniel's hairy hole. Bryan shows his willingness to bottom, so Daniel fucks him with Charly still in him. The man-in-the-middle action is scorching! Charly is sucking on Bryan's toes while Daniel is barreling back and forth as both top and bottom. Bryan does Daniel, now the scene's third outstanding top. Bryan may seem quieter than the rest, but he packs the same punch. Charly returns to hammering Daniel when the three approach their second round of shots. "Let's go back to work," Bryan chirps. How do you work after that?

Up last are EMTs Tony Buff and Colton Steele, replenishing their bag in the supply room. Tony lives up to his moniker by being a thick hulk of a man, and even during the dialogue intro, it's obvious he has heaps of chemistry with the smaller slightly bearded cutie Colton. Colton comes up behind Tony and playfully grabs him with a bandage. "You're insatiable," Tony says to his partner with a smile that melts. How it's done here starts with a lesson in blowjobs from Colton, who somehow manages to push his face all the way down Tony's extra-large cock to the base. Colton is as desperate for dick as Marco was all the way back in the first scene, further proof that everyone here understands the oomph necessary to make these scenes cook. Tony watches Colton with pride. Colton cums all over Tony's leg, but Tony's shot is so splashy it soars past Colton's body to the floor quite a distance behind him. Now it's time to take advantage of some supplies as Tony totally takes advantage of the fact that Colton seems infatuated with him (this is more than acting, I can't help but think).

Tony wraps Colton's body tight in bandages, smiling the whole time. He then picks Colton up and tosses him onto a gurney. Colton can't even wiggle around in his mummy costume, but Tony makes sure to cut him a hole at his crotch, where a hard cock has Tony noting, "I'm thinking you like being restrained." Colton merely looks at Tony as ga-ga as ever. Tony fits Colton's balls with a most interesting cockring (which just happens to be in this supply closet, of course). He then sterilizes Colton's dick with an alcohol swab, puts on gloves and then places a catheter into Colton's dick, causing wails from his trussed-up pal. Tony is merciless, putting the tubing all the way inside Colton's dick and then filling it with solution. "Who's in charge?" Tony sweetly asks Colton, whose cock is no doubt burning. But, it gets even more hardcore! Tony attaches a bucket and chain to Colton's cockring and attaches a long plastic tube to the catheter the length of Colton's body. Colton pisses (hell, it is a catheter), and we watch the piss run into the bucket feet away. Tony decides to urinate in the bucket too, which, remember, is pulling on Colton's balls. Out comes the catheter, off comes the cockring and then Tony finally cuts Colton out of the bandages. They then kiss like the happiest pair of lovers, but of course they ain't finished yet! Tony bends Colton over the gurney and rims his fuzzy pale ass. Tony then sends his cock up into Colton's chute with the same ease at which he forced the catheter into his dick. A plain old fuck would be anti-climactic after such ribaldry, but Tony is so loving a top and Colton so willing a bottom that they manage to create yet another climax for the scene with a style that builds on their slow-burn feelings. Tony fucks Colton silly in position after position, though I thought a tough sideways worked best of all. The sweaty guys cum on Colton's furry torso and only then is the scene officially over.

Plainly said, fuck flicks don't get much better than "Triage." I know that's a sweeping statement, but the sex in it is so pulsing and so alive that perfection is almost inevitable. That doesn't mean any of the guys slack off for even an instant, because no one gives less than 200% at any point. It's quirky, nasty and full of heat. It's a brilliant movie that has highlights in saline-saturated balls and a smile from Tony so inviting I wanted to propose marriage, even as he was doing increasingly wacky things to little Colton.

DVD features: Chapters; widescreen; cum-shots chapter; behind-the-scenes footage; interview (Tony Buff and Colton Steele); trailer ("P.O.V."); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).

BLU-RAY features: Chapters; version selection (expanded director's edit, or edit without fetish material); widescreen; behind-the-scenes featurette; interview (Tony Buff and Colton Steele); Blu-ray trailers ("Overdrive" and "Double Barrel"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).

[NOTE: Blu-ray™ player or PlayStation 3 is required -- http://Blu-raydisc.com -- you cannot view the Blu-ray™ disc with a DVD player.]

A DVD + Blu-ray Review by Martin Cox ( http://ManNet.com )

*** Highly, Highly Recommended ***