In the movies, I'm always amazed that people wake up and start having sex. Do movie characters not have dragon breath in the morning? Not in "Morning Wood," they don't. Falcon's homage to a.m. sex is so magnificent and opulent, there's no possible way any of the men could know of bad breath, ingrown hairs or even the fact that unicorns don't exist. This is fantasy so strong it makes one want to set one's alarm and actually wake up to it, knowing the hottie near you is going to want to play when it goes off. "Morning Wood" teaches that the spell is broken once it's time for work, so make the most of the early morning and fuck your way into a sunshiny day. It's worth more than 10 cups of coffee and 10 perky weathermen.

At exactly 7:00 a.m., Landon Conrad's alarm clock goes off and he starts his day. Landon, a real-life version of Clark Kent, doesn't really need beauty time. He's stunning. Tall, with boundless muscles, square jaw, manicured hair -- the man is perfect. He goes into his equally perfect bathroom (he has awfully expensive decorating tastes) to gild the lily, shaving and showering. The shower allows us extra time to drool over his physical sumptuousness. Back in Landon's bed is Ludovic Canot, a tasty European with dark hair and a slight beard. By the time he gets into the shower, Landon is dressing (off to The Daily Planet in a becoming suit, I suppose). Landon goes to kiss Ludovic goodbye in the shower, but Ludovic, sporting a hard curving boner, doesn't let Landon off that easily. He literally pulls his clothed boyfriend into the shower, forcing Landon to undress and join him. With the water running over these two, it's almost too sizzling to bear.

Naturally, our perfect Landon is also blessed with a massive cock, giving Ludovic something very substantial to blow. His mouth and his hand together aren't enough to conquer it, but he has a whole lot of fun trying. Landon then sucks his mate, gulping mouthfuls of water along with Ludovic's dick. Still in the shower, but minus the water, Ludovic is turned around so Landon can rim him. The close camera proves that Ludovic's coos of how good it feels must be real, because Landon does a terrific job, lapping with a large tongue and spicing it up with some true munching as well. Thankfully, their shower is fuck size, so no one has to move in order for Landon to go crashing into Ludovic's ass with his massive pecker. Landon, ever graceful, doesn't look nasty, but when he keeps his cock tucked in Ludovic deep, shows off his pushier side. Not that Ludovic is comnplaining. It's a seamless fuck, ably delivered by Landon and his clenching abs. Ludovic sits on Landon and rides, keeping the energy level where it should be and then they move to another part of the expensive bathroom where Landon hoists Ludovic's legs over his shoulders and pretty much fucks him in mid-air. Then it's back to kissing before cumming, and Ludovic dazzles with a shot that coats the floor.

Over breakfast in matching white robes, Luke Marcum and Ryan Wade are in no rush to further their day, especially because they are both staring at early-rising plumber Gianni Luca, who smiles gamely when he sees his clients are both sporting hardons. Luke, another man so handsome it's hard to look directly at him with those big ears and boyish face, makes the first move, allowing brunet Gianni to approach his erection and start sucking. Ryan, a virtual double for Luke in the all-American squeaky-clean smooth-as-silk style of model that Falcon has such a lovingly precise eye for finding, enjoys Gianni's sucking as much as Luke and then they start a chain. Luke sits on the counter so Ryan can suck and rim him, while Gianni continues solo blowing Ryan. Luke, who has the cutest nose in all of porn, moans as Ryan whips his way between pleasing his cock and ass, has the easiest task, but watch quiet Gianni chow down on Ryan's balls with gusto -- he's trying his best to steal the scene. Gianni is finally stripped down to thick thighs and a bubble-butt, which Ryan fingers immediately to find out how tight he is. TIGHT! But, Luke goes cascading in anyway, soon managing to work up impressive momentum and turn it into an excellent fuck. Luke knows how to hip swivel with the best of tops, and it means he can get his whole dick to fit in Gianni over and over. Ryan has been ready and condomed since Luke started, and when he gets to take over, he wastes no time in racing ahead at a fast pace. Once again, he's the scene's secret weapon. Ryan and Luke take turns nailing the plumber, with Ryan looking ready to explode the whole time. The tops do Gianni all over the kitchen counter, but without a mess. The kitchen is as spotless as Gianni's wondrous ass. Ryan gets Gianni all to himself so Gianni can suck Luke into blasting a load all over his face. Gianni and Ryan take longer to cum.

In bed with soft silk sheets, we find Aden and Jordan Janic, two more outrageously hot men, plucked and groomed into statuesque perfection. Aden, the smaller of the two, is frisky this morning, groping for Jordan's cock and making it hard even before they start kissing. Jordan, sporting a bit of facial shadow, truly seems overwhelmed by peals of pleasure as Aden works his way down his body and starts blowing him. Aden delivers an insanely passionate blowjob, effortlessly able to deep-throat Jordan and also glance up at him to watch the effect his mouth is having on Jordan. Then it's Aden's turn to relax while Jordan sucks him. Jordan keeps to the style of happy morning love, never hasty and always aiming for mutual pleasure. Aden reaches his foot out to play with Jordan's cock so as to keep his hunky lover hard. Jordan then stands over Aden and feeds him dick upside down, with Aden still deep-throating marvelously. A 69 is inevitable with these two, so into pleasing each other, but Jordan can barely participate, seemingly overcome by what Aden can do to his cock. Aden tosses his legs in the air so Jordan can rim his spectacular butt a bit before pounding it. Jordan is a mighty top, using his thighs to push deep into Aden, who moves up the bed with every thrust. It was helpful before having Aden stare at Jordan, and it stays thus through the fucking, as his piercing eyes keep Jordan working at full tilt. Best is a flat-on-the-bed position, where Jordan really opens up and can also nuzzle his boyfriend while he does it. As if Jordan's cock isn't enough, he uses a few dildos on Aden and then feeds him cock orally again to get everyone to cum.

We've seen the shower and the coffee and the first rays of sunlight on your lover's face, but it wouldn't be porn if we didn't remember that these guys don't look like Adonises without some effort. So, Derrek Diamond and Trent Davis are sent out to jog, a reminder that endorphins are a big part of morning sex. Both shirtless and glistening, they come across strapping hulk Adam Killian, a biker with mouthwatering tattoos all over his body. He has a flat tire, so the guys offer to take him home where they have a pump. Immediately inside the door, endorphins kick in and brunet Derrek and compact cutie Travis start mauling Adam with their hands and mouths. Rugged and masculine, Adam is completely in control, managing to dominate his new pals with incredible energy and sheer sexiness. He has both Derrek and Trent on their knees worshipping his cock together in mere moments. Both men want him badly, so while Derrek pleases Adam's dick, Trent slips behind to start rimming him, returning to the front when Derrek is ready to share. Derrek and Trent are violently focused on pleasing Adam, which of course Adam encourages. Competition is healthy here as they try to out deep-throat each other (Trent is an oral wild man). Adam then takes up residence between the guys and sucks, delighting on Derrek's massive curving piece (bringing Trent over to help him). Their staircase chain might be the movie's most beautiful image, with Adam overflowing with brio as he dives into Trent's ass with his face and Trent blows Derrek with such style and talent. Adam moves to the front of the chain, sitting on Derreks's tongue while Trent rims Derrek at the same time. It's lucky there are enough tongues to use on all of these perfect asses. Adam starts the fucking by bending Trent over the staircase and hammering him hard, burning more calories than he could have done on his bike. While pounding Trent, he makes sure his bottom is also occupied sucking Derrek too. Adam, all towering top, gets to rampage through Derrek's butt too. Trent was an ideal bottom for Adam, encouraging him to go harder and deeper, while Derrek is quieter, but Adam remains totally in control. Even when Derrek fucks Adam, standing up and with Trent on his cock sucking, Adam is the focus. Derrek is in deep, but he lacks the topping presence of Adam's best moments.

I admit it. I'm a morning person, the kind who accomplishes more before lunch than most people will all day, but that's just natural. For those who needs to be trained on how to use their mornings, watch "Morning Wood," because it's a lesson in the joys of fucking in the daytime. If these guys can't turn you into a morning person, then it is probably impossible!

DVD features: Chapters; gallery; trailers ("Pledgemasters: The Hazing," "Roman's Holiday 2," "Roughin' It" and "Dripping Wet 2"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).

A DVD Review by Brent Blue ( http://www.ManNet.com )

*** Highly, Highly Recommended ***