Description source: promotional material
Perhaps more of a film festival than a film release.
An average janitor on an average night goes about his chores. He sweeps, he cleans the windows, he dusts. As he runs his feather duster across the chest of a life-sized wooden Indian, the janitor observes just how human this hunk of carved wood is. He wonders aloud whether its sculptor crossed all of his ‘I's and dotted all of his “T”s. He lifts the Indian's loincloth to find that indeed, this chief is hung like a crazy horse. After getting a glimpse at the chief's tomahawk, our curious cleaner strikes up a conversation with the inanimate native, and much to his surprise, the statue responds.
Now, our janitor may not be the most stringent cleaner in the cupboard, but he’s pretty sure it’s not normal for a hunk of wood, not matter how anatomical, to make small talk. Industrial cleaners can pack a hallucinogenic punch, but a talking statue? To prove he’s real, the chief unzips the janitor’s coveralls and strokes his milky white chest. As if a chatty flirtation statue weren’t unbelievable enough, this one can also grant wishes. The janitor says that all he wants is money. And, poof! He’s got $100k. But once the green is in his fingers, our average janitor realizes that it’s not cash that he wants, it’s ass.
Randomly, the Indian breaks into a rain dance. It’s a fine dance, but the wooden Indian has forgotten to stretch. After a few rounds, he pulls a muscle and falls to the floor. Luckily, our janitor is a man with slow hands. He offers a massage and the wooden Indian reluctantly accepts. The janitor straddles the wooden Indian, who is now laying on his stomach. Both have completely disrobed. Despite warnings from the Indian, the janitor rams his throbbing member in the Indians wood knot. That’s when our janitor finds out exactly Why the Wooden Indian Wouldn’t. He's made of wood, and wood splinters. Ouch!
In this 1969 skin flick, Richard Monroe plays a grease monkey with a specialty in lube jobs, and ginger-headed Billy Hamilton plays a hard-up patron, desperate for a quick fix. When Hamilton first arrives at the bike shop, Monroe plays hard to get, demanding that there’s no way he can fix Hamilton’s hog in an afternoon. But Billy won’t take no for an answer, so Richard decides to give it a look. After a few hours of tweaking and tinkering, the mechanic comes up empty handed, and when he asks the biker for the dough to pay for his labor, Hamilton refuses. As it turns out, he’s fresh out of cash, but that doesn’t stop Richard from getting what he wants. He quickly strips Billy of his leather duds and denim jeans, revealing Billy’s washboard abs and decent endowment. As Billy drops trou, Richard slips out of his coveralls. With the two stripped naked, hostility turns to affection and the mechanic gets a lube job of his own.
This was a special order film originally with sound for the theater.
Naked story line with romance. Had sound for theatrical release.