When your Emperor was just a Porn Princeling, there was only one place to go to find porn with butch, muscular, non-twink guys: COLT Studio. For those of us who craved these macho studs in the mid-eighties, COLT movies were an oasis in a sea of smooth, boyish twinks. COLT was a pioneer in the gay porn business, producing short, single-scene features, kind of like stag films. Most of them dated to the late seventies and early eighties, when the macho "clone" look was in.

COLT collected these films on video in the mid-eighties, and that's what the Emperor saw "back in the day." COLT has packaged these great classics by combining two video volumes on each disc. We issue an Imperial Commendation, not only for preserving this piece of porno history, but also because they're still hot after all these years.

A lot of COLT's performers were one-time wonders; others worked frequently, but only for COLT. A few had big porn careers under other names. But they're all the naturally hairy, supermasculine guys (with LOTS of gigantic cocks) that COLT is known for. It's actually amazing how well they still stand up against the many fantastic bodies and faces in porn today. Our watchwords for this feature are big cocks; muscular, hairy bodies; and huge, low-hanging balls. A delicious combination.

One of the fun things about this little retrospective is that it's a series of period pieces. There's no dialog added to the original silent films, just cheesy, circa 1979, generic disco tracks. Sometimes the clothes give away the date of production; sometimes it's furniture. But what's really noticeable is how these guys represent a gay ideal of yesteryear. A lot of them have moustaches or beards, and some of them are even bald -- imagine that!

A few of them have tattoos (of the biker sort, not the trendy one's you see these days). There are a lot of scenes involving uniforms of one kind or another (remember the Village People?). But the men all represent that sort of Marlboro man masculine ideal that was prevalent in the seventies, before Calvin Klein and his underwear ads.

There are eleven vignettes, totaling two hours. That should be enough to keep you entertained for a while. They have cute, punning names like "Military Pass" and "Hard at Work." Much of the sex is oral -- a couple of scenes are oral-only. Fucking is often simulated, at least for part of the scene, and sometimes brief. (We've often wondered if COLT was trying to avoid some particular obscenity statute.) There's plenty of kissing and making out, and some great rimming. And all the sex is condom-less, of course, with some good cum-eating. Again, all this speaks to the time in which these were made.

We won't describe every scene, but here are a few highlights. "Killer and Butch" are our coverboys. They're macho bodybuilder types who could keep up with the best of today's gym boys. They have all their natural body hair -- and they're versatile! Rocco Rizzoli is actually better known as Giorgio Canali, the name he used in his William Higgins appearances. He's in a couple of scenes, and he's absolutely at his peak of horny perfection. In "The Big Box," we have one of the few serious rimming scenes, with Lars chowing down on Julio's very hairy ass. Ryan Kilgore is an enthusiastic bottom and extremely handsome in that classic, square-jawed, matinee-idol way; we get to see him in two scenes. The all-oral "One More Time" is a battle of gargantuan cocks between Rocco and Mark Rutter (and made all the more amusing by the disco accompaniment -- a song titled "Juicy Lucy"). In "Hard at Work," swarthy Vito Cesari looks almost Middle-Eastern; he's extremely hairy in all the right places and has a gigantic cock that's almost matched by bearded, rugged construction worker Jake Baker. And "Sun Strokes" features two legendary performers, J.W. King and Mickey Squires; probably one of COLT's most famous loops.

What's especially striking is the enthusiasm and innocence (yes, innocence) of the performers. You can tell they've just come off the crest of the wave of the sexual revolution -- no inhibitions.

DVD features: Chapters; gallery; trailers; and no regional coding.

A DVD Review by The Porn Emperor